Friday, February 27, 2009

Britain's most unfortunate names

My son knew someone named Crystal Shanda Lear. When when he told me that, I thought he must be Jo King. I mean, any parent who saddles a kid with a name like that must have their brain Lee King.

For Stan Still, having an unusual name was like going to Helen Back. Said Stan, "My name has been a blooming millstone around my neck my entire life. When I was in the RAF my commanding officer used to shout 'Stan Still, get a move on' and roll about laughing. It got hugely boring after a while."

This week, at least two British websites reported the results of a group that researched Britain's most unfortunate names. Among the names were all those mentioned above. Here is the complete list of real, unfortunate names found in Britain:
  • Barb Dwyer
  • Pearl Button
  • Ray Gunn
  • Helen Back
  • Stan Still
  • Jo King
  • Lee King
  • Terry Bull
  • Mary Christmas
  • Max Power
  • Paige Turner
  • Sonny Day
  • Tim Burr
  • Teresa Green
  • Will Power
  • Anna Sasin
  • Chris Cross
  • Doug Hole
  • Justin Case
  • Barry Cade
  • Rose Bush


  • Anna Prentice
  • Annette Curtain
  • Bill Board
  • Carrie Oakey
  • Dr Leslie Doctor
  • Dr Thoulton Surgeon
  • Dr Payne
  • Les Plack
  • Priti Manek
  • Dr Sumey
For more stories about unusual names, click names label.

speaking of unfortunate names...

he should have become an ear-nose-throat doc.

interestingly, Richard Slippery is the one still at-large

well, not anymore

gymnastic bloopers

Thursday, February 26, 2009

car locks normally keep thieves out, not in

In a brilliant exhibition of incompetence, a would-be car thief caught himself in the act.

Earlier this week, Adelaide (Australia) police were called to a house where two men were heard trying to steal a car.

When the police arrived, they found one of the men inside the car. He had not run away because he had somehow managed to lock himself in the car. Even scarier, the 53-year-old man couldn't seem to figure out how to unlock the door to get out.

Fortunately for him, the police had no problem figuring out how to let the him out of the car and put him in their's.

In a nearly-equal act of ineptitude, the second thief was caught hiding in nearby bushes.

His lawyers should argue that a 53-year-old man who can't figure out a car lock has proven that he is mentally incapable of actually stealing the car.

the oddest couple you'll ever see

This video will make you smile, although it isn't funny. It is a true (and brief) story of a very odd couple: an elephant and a stray dog who have become best friends. very cool. very interesting. a fun watch.

thanks to Marsha for sending this to me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

nurse sets off metal detectors everywhere she goes

If it is possible to have too much of a good thing, this might be it.

Elaine Davidson holds the record for the most body piercings. At last official count, she has 6,005 piercings. Of those, a hundreds are on her face, and 1,500 are "internal."

Elaine, who is a nurse living in Edinburgh, was first recognized by the Guinness World Records 9 years ago, when she had a mere 462 piercings. In the years since, she has continued to outdistance the record-wannabes by continuing her piercing.

Interestingly, Elaine doesn't like being pierced. She does it so that she can "be herself" and, of course, maintain her world record.

Elaine is quoted by Ananova: "I don't enjoy getting pierced, but to break the record you have to get to a high level. I wanted to break the record.

"My family don't even like tattoos or piercings. But I am happy. I decided to change myself and be me."

I wonder how much her face weighs.

pandas are so cute. look, she wants my jacket.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Monday, February 23, 2009

Odd Book Title finalists named: add them to your reading list

This year, make your opinion count. Vote early and vote often.

The short list for the prestigious Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year has been announced by The Bookseller magazine. The winner will be chosen by internet vote later this month.

The award has been given each year since 1978.

Last year's top 6 included:
  • I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen
  • How to Write a How to Write Book
  • Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues
  • Cheese Problems Solved
  • People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr Feelgood
This year, the judges sifted through all sorts of titles to come up with the top 6. They had a pretty impressive array of odd books to choose from. Among the rejects were:
  • Excrement in the Late Middle Ages
  • All dogs have ADHD
  • Monumental Beggings: Archeology of the N4 Sligo Inner Relief Road
Unfortunately, the final list can only have six. Here are this year's finalists:

* Baboon Metaphysics by Dorothy Dorothy L Cheney and Robert M Seyfarth

* Curbside Consultation of the Colon by Brooks D Cash

* The Large Sieve and its Applications by Emmanuel Kowalski

* Strip and Knit with Style by Mark Hordyszynski

* Techniques for Corrosion Monitoring by Lietai Yang

* The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Frais by Professor Philip M Parker

There you have it. To vote, click here and find the poll box.

Valentine's Day opportunties missed

Valentine's Day is passed. So, we missed these great sales. There is always next year, however.

This is the "Romantic Collection." You could have saved $20

Friday, February 20, 2009

got a tooth? marry a dog.

What would you do if your two-year-old son grew a tooth that seemed premature?

The answer: have him marry the neighbor's dog immediately.

This week, Sagula, a 2-year-old boy from the state of Orissa in India, was married to Jyoti, his neighbor's dog, in a ritual ceremony. The ceremony was attended and performed by nearly 150 townspeople.

The townspeople see the growth of a tooth as a bad omen. They believe that such a tooth will make the child and other townspeople subject to being killed by wild animals, particularly tigers.

"We performed the marriage because it will overcome any curse that might fall on the child as well on us," said the boy's father.

Not to worry. Sagula will be able to remarry a human later and won't need to get a divorce. Jyoti, however, appears to be stuck.

via Reuters

note: the picture above is not connected with this story except that it reflects a similar ceremony

rhett and link: surrogate sharers -- your breath stinks...

informative food labels

Thursday, February 19, 2009

the wicked witch of the west: my best friend

Sorry, but for some reason, the video "mistaken identity" that was posted here suddenly became useless. So... here is a commercial (not seen in the US) that I thought was funny and a clever idea... :)

there's a support group for everyone

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

my kid - your fault. (Stella Awards announced)

The original post about the Stella Awards that was here was accurate as reported by the Telegram.
link Telegram article

However, one of my readers pointed out that the author of the Stella Awards, Randy Cassingham, has disowned many of the items listed in the article. They were NOT given the Stella Award because many, if not all of them, are fabrications.

To correct the error, I am replacing this article with a real story from the Stella Awards. As per their request, I present it without editing:

The 2007 True Stella Awards

Issued February 2008

(Click here to confirm these are legitimate.)

#3: Sentry Insurance Company. The company provided worker's compensation insurance for a Wisconsin "Meals on Wheels" program. Delivering a meal, a MoW volunteer (who was allegedly not even wearing boots) slipped and fell on a participant's driveway that had been cleared of snow, and Sentry had to pay to care for her resulting injuries. Sentry wanted its money back, so it sued the 81-year-old homeowner getting the Meals on Wheels service. It could have simply filed for "subrogation" from her homeowner's insurance company, but by naming her in the action, it dragged an old lady into court, reinforcing the image of insurance companies as concerned only about the bottom line, not "protecting" policyholders from loss.

#2: The family of Robert Hornbeck. Hornbeck volunteered for the Army and served a stint in Iraq. After getting home, he got drunk, wandered into a hotel's service area (passing "DANGER" warning signs), crawled into an air conditioning unit, and was severely cut when the machinery activated. Unable to care for himself due to his drunkenness, he bled to death. A tragedy, to be sure, but one solely caused by a supposedly responsible adult with military training. Despite his irresponsible behavior -- and his perhaps criminal trespassing -- Hornbeck's family sued the hotel for $10 million, as if it's reasonably foreseeable that some drunk fool would ignore warning signs and climb into its heavy duty machinery to sleep off his bender.

But those pale compared to...

The winner of the 2007 True Stella Award: Roy L. Pearson Jr. The 57-year-old Administrative Law Judge from Washington DC claims that a dry cleaner lost a pair of his pants, so he sued the mom-and-pop business for $65,462,500. That's right: more than $65 million for one pair of pants. Representing himself, Judge Pearson cried in court over the loss of his pants, whining that there certainly isn't a more compelling case in the District archives. But the Superior Court judge wasn't moved: he called the case "vexatious litigation", scolded Judge Pearson for his "bad faith", and awarded damages to the dry cleaners. But Pearson didn't take no for an answer: he's appealing the decision. And he has plenty of time on his hands, since he was dismissed from his job. Last we heard, Pearson's appeal is still pending.

©2007 by Randy Cassingham, Reprinted with permission.

finding the obvious

Monday, February 16, 2009

it sure looked like a fireplace to me

Adolf Maier has been having a little trouble with his eyes lately. Last week, the 87-year old Austrian accidentally left the door of his refrigerator open.

With the refrigerator open, he felt a draft. So, he got some wood, put it in the fireplace and lit it.

Well, at least he thought it was the fireplace. Actually, Adolf started the fire inside his open refrigerator.

Said Adolf, "I put firelighters and wood in what I thought was the usual place, and suddenly there was smoke everywhere. I thought it was cold when I lit the match - now I know why."

Firefighters extinguished the fire. Adolf has plans to get some better glasses.

via Ananova

You shoulda been there when he tried to clean the toilet.

why we are strong in getting fat

Want to know why so many Americans are overweight? Here are some delicacies posted on the This is Why You're Fat site:

Bacon Cheeseburger With Chocolate Covered Bacon

Gravy Covered Pizza

Bacon Burger Dog With Cheese

Sloppy Joe On A Krispy Kreme

Friday, February 13, 2009

gas station robber runs out of gas

Call it poetic justice.

This week, an 23-year-old man robbed a gas station in Cape Haze, Florida. After entering the station, he confronted the station attendant with a 12-inch Bowie knife and demanded money.

After the robber's departure, an eye-witness called 911 with a description of the thief's car.

As police began their search, they learned that a car had just run out of gas nearby-- a car that fit the description given by the witness.

It was him. Police picked up our man a short time after and placed him under arrest for armed robbery.

worst levitation act ever


setting a bad example

Thursday, February 12, 2009

apostrophe accidents

from the Apostrophe Abuse blog (one of my favorites)...

me is?

yep, kid is first alright. You're going to be on the school board??

How does the lady feel about you selling her wallet?

amazing worker carries 22 bricks on his head

via bits n pieces

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

this meat is just too dang meaty

We have heard people complain to a waiter that their steak was--
  • too raw
  • overcooked
  • too tough
  • too fatty
  • too small
  • too cold.
This week, a man in St. John's, Newfoundland pushed his waiter and then slugged him in the face because he was dissatisfied with his meal.

His complaint? His steak was "too meaty."

He has been arrested for assault and will appear in court in the near future. Undoubtedly, his judge will be too judgmental.

that's not a zero. the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon

My father was a college professor. In honor of his birthday (today!) I post these real exam answers.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

woman and her 22 dogs found in a station wagon

Yesterday (February 9), a woman in Pottsboro, Texas locked herself inside her station wagon with her dogs. Lots of dogs. Twenty dogs and two puppies, to be exact.

Apparently, the woman was staying in the car with her dogs. When the police arrived to free the dogs, she locked the doors and refused to come out.

In addition to the woman and her dogs, the car contained a pot of water, blankets... and a whole lot of the doo that doggies do. She apparently wasn't very good at taking each of them out for a walk.

Courtney Stevens of the Texas SPCA said, "The car was soaked with urine and covered in feces. The ammonia level in the vehicle was 23 parts per million even after the doors had been opened for several minutes. As a frame of reference, humans start experiencing health issues at 12 parts per million,"

The woman does not face charges, but the custody of the dogs will undoubtedly be given to others.

This is probably part of the dog crime ring.

more weird church signs

I just love the name of this church.