Friday, January 30, 2009

stopped cold by a pole

They knew prison would be tough. They wanted to escape.

This week, Tiranara White, 21, was on his way to prison for stealing a car and violating parole. Regan Reti, 20, was planning to spend the next two years locked-up for assault.

The two were handcuffed together and were being led from the Hastings District Court in New Zeland to the prison. When Tiranara and Regan sensed an opportunity to escape, they instinctively knew what to do. They seized their chance.

The two men bolted for freedom, but almost immediately, they fell over and took a shot of pepper spray. Undeterred, the two ran across the road and away from police pursuit.

Unfortunately, they forgot they were handcuffed together. And they didn't think about the lamp post.

In the picture, the two geniuses can be seen just before they ran on opposite sides of the post.

As you might expect, the handcuffs didn't break away. As their bodies went on opposite sides of the post, their hands stayed joined. The two men slammed into one another at full-speed as their arms wrapped around the pole.

As they struggled to get up on their feet, they were apprehended and taken to jail... where they undoubtedly will be spending a little extra time.

unusual cats in the classifieds

cheap gun


Thursday, January 29, 2009

a perfect day to stay in bed

Last Tuesday, Nathan Seeley had a particularly bad day. He should have stayed home and kept his dog indoors.

First, Nathan's car broke down. So, he brought it to a garage to have it fixed.

Then, Nathan's dog ran away. So, because he had no car, he got a "loaner" from the garage and went in search of his dog.

Nathan drove the borrowed Buick onto the frozen surface of the Black River, in Port Huron, Michigan. In itself, that was no problem, since the ice is thick and the river is often used by cars and snowmobiles at this time of year.

Once on the river, Nathan got out of the car to look for his dog. To keep the car warm, he left it running... and accidentally locked himself out.

It seems that exhaust and engine heat in one spot tends to melt ice. So, Nathan had the opportunity to watch the ice around the car slowly melt. Then he watched as the car broke through the ice and dropped from sight into the river below.

He now faces a fine for having a car in the river, fees to retrieve the car, and the cost restoring a thoroughly drowned car.

Still no word on the dog.

how to be a good husband


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

world's worst selection of a fake name

does anyone really know what time it is?

the 72 hour sale is spread over 18 days?

the breakfast special is served at lunch time and the dinner special is served at breakfast time.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

didn't notice a $168,227.50 mistake

Last summer, Randy and Melissa Pratt of Bloomsburg, PA deposited $1,772.50 in their checking account at FNB Bank. However, a bank recorded the deposit as $175,000.

Randy, 50, and Melissa, 37, suddenly had some extra money in the account and didn't bother to tell the bank about it.

Shortly afterward, they withdrew the money. Then, they quit their jobs and moved to Orlando, Florida. They apparently were planning to settle down there because they were in the process of buying a house when the bank discovered the error.

Of course, the bank wants their money back and is not-a-little peeved at the Pratts for withdrawing the money and skipping town. So, they have been arrested for theft and other charges.

What makes this story truly newsworthy, however, is the compelling explanation that Melissa gave for why they didn't tell the bank about the error.

Melissa said that they simply did not notice the bank error. It seems that her husband, a roof installer, often gets large checks and they just weren't aware of any discrepancy.

That is a probably good thing. That means that she probably won't notice the $100,000 that is needed for their bail, either.


o-mazing grace


Monday, January 26, 2009

goat under arrest for auto theft

Normally, I don't do this, but this story is so bizarre, I am going to post the entire article as it appears at This is not the only news service that has picked up the story.

Here it is:

Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of the attempted armed robbery of a Mazda 323.

Vigilantes took the animal to the police, claiming it was a criminal who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal the car.

Police have detained the goat in custody while they ponder what to do next.

Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed said: "The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car.

"They pursued them. However, one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat."

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation.

Curious locals have rushed to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.


Bad news for the prosecution-- he can also change himself into a lawyer.

more curious warning labels

A therapy pillow that is for decoration only? A pillow you can't sleep on? I gotta get me one of them.

If you are allergic to eggs, please remember: eggs contain egg
thanks Adullamite!

for more warning labels, click the label label below (?)

Friday, January 23, 2009

man gets a tap in the eye

Okay. This isn't for the squeamish. For me, anything to do with eye injury gives me the creeps... but the story of Mr. Zhao is worth telling.

Last week, Zhao, a 57-year resident of Chongqing, China, was going through his morning routine when he accidentally slipped and fell in his bathroom.

Zhao had the misfortune of falling in such a way that the sink tap (handle) went into his left eye. That is, into his eye.

Zhao's family immediately called emergency workers. When they arrived, Zhao was still leaning over the sink with the tap in his eye, unable to pull away. Firefighters cut the pipe with hydraulic shears and took Zhao to the hospital with the tap and a length of water-pipe sticking out of his eye.

When he arrived at the hospital, a plumber was called to shorten the pipe so that a CAT scan could be taken. The plumber was not able to shorten the pipe without causing Zhao more pain, so, it was decided that an X-ray would have to suffice.

As the developed X-ray and possible treatment was being discussed by the doctors, Zhao looked at his own X-ray and decided to take things into his own hands. After three hours of waiting, Zhao pulled the plumbing out of his eye by himself.

Now able to take a CAT scan, doctors say that Zhao has a fractured nose and facial bones, but his eye will be okay.

story and picture

bowling bloopers

could I get that blue car with a yellow interior?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

fugitive found under mommy's bed

Petru Susanu, 39, of Vladeni, Romania, has been a fugitive from justice for four years. After he was convicted of robbery in 2005, he fled and went into hiding.

This week, Petru was found-- hiding under his mother's bed.

It seems that Petru created a small living space under his mother's bed by using carpets and boards. He has been living under there since 2005.

Petru was finally discovered because people began to wonder why his mother was buying cigarettes and beer. After all, she doesn't smoke or drink. Not only that, she was buying them from a store that Petru used to rob regularly. She even bought his brand of cigarettes.

Petru is now facing the original jail sentence with additional time for escaping justice.

good news for Petru: Mom may be able to get the top bunk when she is convicted for harboring a fugitive.

obvious product labels

imagine cream-flavor cream. what flavor are the strawberries?

wash with cold water by using a cold-water washing process.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

the inconspicuous man in a white dress

stand on that spot and look straight at the camera

Last year, I posted the story of Jose Pacheco-- the man who created a fake Mississippi Driver's license complete with a picture of he and his girlfriend.

Below are some pictures of real IDs that are just as amusing.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

man shoplifts a shark

Elbert Starks likes sharks. However, Elbert Starks can't afford sharks. So, Elbert decided to get a shark the old-fashioned way-- he shop-lifted it.

Last month, the 30-year-old Long Island resident entered The Total Aquarium in Lynbrook, NY at around 7 p.m. and lifted a nurse shark out of its aquarium. Then, he hid it under his coat and walked out of the store. He took the shark home and released it into his own aquarium.

Apparently, the shark didn't satisfy Elbert's craving for hot fish. On January 2, he went to another pet store and purchased a $300 moray eel.... with a credit card that he had stolen.

Police caught up with Elbert and his fish... and have charged him with grand larceny and petite larceny. The fish are doing well and are being kept in a tank called "evidence."

I guess all the water the shark needed was... in his armpit?

Bobby Neel Adams - age maps

The pictures in this slide-show are composite photographs of the same persons at two stages of their lives. They are the fascinating work of Bobby Neel Adams.

Monday, January 19, 2009

more great moments in planning

it took me a few looks at this to see the problem...

for similar pictures, see part one

rhett and link: the surrogate sharers -- your gift...

The holidays were a month ago, perhaps it is time to send this video to that someone who needs it...

Friday, January 16, 2009

the plan was almost perfect

It has been a tough week for inept bank robbers. First, we had the story of the man who robbed a bank then returned to pay his overdraft. Then, we had the report of the robber who stood in the queue line with his mask on.

Now is the story of an unidentified man in Nicholasville, KY who entered the building at 802 South Main Street. He pulled out a gun and asked the person at the counter to hand over the money.

"We really don't have any money." said the clerk.

"I know you have money. It's a bank." replied the robber.

"No, sir, it's not a bank anymore." she explained.

Exit the robber.

It seems the building at 802 Main Street used to be a branch office for Farmer's Bank. These days, however, it is the office of the local water district. They have nothing there worth stealing.

The would-be-bank-robber's planning may have been lacking but at least his get-away was effective. He is still at large.

pictured... the place he intended to rob.

more interesting warning labels

warning found on a computer mouse...

you can use it, just don't touch it.

warning found on a jar of peanuts...

thanks! I woulda never guessed what was in a jar of peanuts.

on an industrial washing machine

It is bad enough to have to warn against inserting a person into the washer. Also notice the graphic illustration to help the user identify when the cover is open or closed

for similar posts, click warning label below.

Daily Onion: DOT study solves traffic problems

Tired Of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'

Thursday, January 15, 2009

a guaranteed bad idea

--Are you tired of being overlooked at the airport?

--Want to spend a couple extra hours building relationships with the airport security guards?

--Do you feel like consistently missing your flight?

Then here is the product for you-- a suitcase embossed with the imprint of a gun.

Yup. They really exist and are for sale at For just under $200 you can have one of these cases which were designed to be an expression of dark humor.

These are sold on a site that specializes in designer kids products, but they are purchased by adults. One security expert says that these are sure to get the attention you'd expect.

timely advice

wish I read this last week.

posters from -- Dysfunction and Romance

dysfunction romance

I got an email from which suggested these lithographs as possible gifts for Valentine’s Day (coming in a few weeks!). not a bad idea.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

a Valentine's Day gift you will need if you give it to her...

Valentine's Day is just a month away... most men want to find the perfect gift.
Here's an idea she's sure to adore.

another brief gallery of bad (and misspelled) tattoos

the first "to" should have been "too" and the third "to" should have been "too," too.

(and He can spell.)

for more tattoo stuff, click label below

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

bank robber waits his turn

Most of us don't like standing in line at a bank. Working our way through the maze of ropes is something we'd rather avoid. We suspect that bank robbers don't like it, either.

This week employees at a bank in Ohio noticed that a man was standing in the queue line with a ski mask pulled down over his face. He patiently waited in line with all the other customers.

When he finally got up to a teller window, the teller politely asked that he take off his mask.

It was then that he pulled out a gun and demanded the cash from her drawer. The teller complied and gave him an undisclosed amount of money.

As you might suspect, the unusual sight of a man waiting in line, wearing a ski-mask tipped off bank security that something was awry. Police were on the scene within moments and arrested 24-year-old Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights, Ohio after a brief car chase.

Police Captain Rick Myers stated the obvious when he observed that most bank robbers don't wait in line wearing their masks.

As it turns out, Feliks gun was just a toy. The charges against him for aggravated robbery, however, are real.


harmonica lesson one: try your mouth

new! cosmetic surgery in less than one appointment

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Monday, January 12, 2009

overdrawn at the bank? rob them then pay it

Do you have an overdrawn account at the bank? Have you written checks that are bouncing?

Here is interesting solution: rob the bank; make your get-away and then return to pay the overdraft.

Last week, an armed robber wearing a ski-hat entered Kredi Bank in Serbia and demanded that the tellers to hand over their cash. They complied, and the man escaped with the equivalent of $60,000.

Moments after the heist, the thief removed his ski-hat and casually returned to the bank. He talked with the appropriate people about his overdraft and said that he wanted to settle it.

Unfortunately, the man was still wearing his distinctive bright red shoes and the ski-hat had not been much of a disguise. He was arrested and charged with armed robbery.

One police officer said, "The man had been wearing bright red trainers and everyone remembered them distinctly when they saw him run out of the bank.

"They could not believe their eyes when they saw a man wearing the same shoes come back in and kept him in the bank talking about his overdraft while our officers arrived."

and I'll bet they didn't even take his payment.

more before-and-after

for similar before-and-after ads, click label link below...

Friday, January 9, 2009

home sweet prison

What punishment is worse than going to prison?
Answer: living at your parent's house.

At least, that is the opinion of Guido Beneventi.

Mr. Beneventi, 30, was recently sentenced to prison for committing theft. However, his prison stay was reduced with the understanding he would wear an electronic tag and live at his parent's home in Palermo, Italy.

After a series of arguments and a whole lot of nagging, Guido broke his curfew and ran straight to the police station. There, he demanded to be thrown back in jail.

As Guido was headed back to jail, he gratefully said to the police, "You are my saviors... I just couldn't take another day with them..."

He added, "They spent all their time telling me how useless I was and lecturing me about everything and ordering me to do housework. It was like being a child again. Prison was better."