man saves self with kitchen surgery

This story is amazing... but it will probably give you the creeps.

Earlier this week, Steve Wilder of Omaha, Nebraska woke up just after midnight and found that he couldn't breathe. He knew that his windpipe had swollen shut.

At that point, the 55-year-old Wilder realized that he needed to act quickly. He believed that the ambulance would arrive too late if he called 911. So, Wilder did something truly remarkable.

He went to his kitchen and took a steak knife in hand... and gave himself a tracheotomy-- that's right-- he inserted the steak knife into his own neck and opened up his windpipe.

"|I| got a knife and located it and pushed in and blood went gush... I think I closed my eyes, but fear or something took over. I didn't feel no pain or nothing." The blood was squirting everywhere, but his lungs were inflating with air.

Wilder (pictured above) then called 911 and was taken to the emergency room. He is expected to recover without any complications.

Wilder is not a doctor nor was he trained to do this sort of surgery. He does have a scar on his neck where a previous surgery was performed.

http://www.wowt.com/home/headlines/18751459.html

part of me says, "oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
another part of me says, "wow, what courage"
still another part of me thinks of the money he saved on a surgeon

parking rage

aren't moms great?

sing, sing, -hic- sing, sing, everybody's -hic- gotta sing

Twenty-four year old Christopher Sands is a professional singer who resides in Timberland, Lincolnshire, England.

Unfortunately, Christopher can't sing much these days... because for the past year, Christopher has had a case of the hiccups.

He contracted the hiccups a year ago and has been hiccuping ever since. Constantly. That, of course, has made his singing career almost impossible.

The situation is so bad that he is planning to have surgery to fix the problem. Said Sands, "Any relief would be amazing."

That's bad... but Christopher has no problem compared to Charles Osborne. According to the Guinness Book of World Records. Charles Osborn holds the record for longest bout of hiccups.

Charles started hiccuping in 1922... and didn't stop until 1990.

Charles hiccuped at the rate of up to 40 times per minute for 68 years. It is estimated that he hiccuped 430 million times in his life. Fortunately, he lived a normal life and actually ended up becoming famous for his hiccups.

and fyi... the average human hiccups about 2,300 times in his lifetime. (Who figured out that stat????)

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=146338&in_page_id=2
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Osborne

world record Lego tower

Lego blocks have been around for 50 years. In honor of the birthday, the world's tallest Lego tower has been constructed. It stands 100 feet tall and contains 500,000 Lego bricks.




http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=146120&in_page_id=34
http://gizmodo.com/387742/worlds-tallest-lego-tower-reaches-100+foot-mark

goldfish: not just for bowls anymore

Tired of that lazy, do-nothing goldfish? Bored with the same circle around the same bowl? Wish you had a dog that could fetch or play ball instead?

How would you feel about a goldfish that can fetch, play basketball and even slalom?

Dr. Dean Pomerleau, from Los Angeles claims to have developed a sure-fire method for training ordinary goldfish to do spectacular things. He claims to have taught his own goldfish, Comet, how to limbo, fetch, play soccer... and more. See the video below... see what you think of the amazing Comet.

Dr. Pomerleau (who apparently has nothing better to do than spend hours training his goldfish), is even offering a kit so that you can train your own.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2842710.html?menu=news.quirkies&no_cj_c=1

looking for a job? help is here.

parents: help your kids excel in math and crime

parents: are you looking for products that will help your child be more productive in school? Try these fun products... guaranteed to please!


I say that nine and five be fourteen.

kayak swamped by whale

sent to me by Barry. thanks!

Denver getting ready for ET (?)

Jeff Peckman wants to make sure that his hometown of Denver, Colorado, has all of its bases covered.

It seems that Mr. Peckman believes that Earth is frequently visited by extraterrestrials. He also toys with the idea that that they may be living among us. So, Peckman has drafted a city ordinance that would require the creation of an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission.

The Commission would be in charge of creating "a responsible, common-sense strategy for dealing with issues related to the presence of extraterrestrial beings on Earth..."

Peckman, 54, who lives with his parents in Denver, explained the urgency of the Commission this way:

"It is important because if you're driving down the highway and you saw a crash of a small spaceship and a car or a bus full of kids, you really wouldn't know what to do. Do you wait for the hazardous materials experts to show up because of potential contaminants from another solar system? What do you do? People really don't know."

Peckman is looking for 4,000 signatures to get his initiative on the ballot for November.

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/may/02/man-pushes-creation-of-panel-to-prepare-city-for/

I am guessing that Mr. Peckman has a way-cool collection of awesome video games in his parent's basement.

glad we got THAT straightened out.

brother, can you spare a few billion?

If you are going to be an idiot, you may as well go for it in a big way.

This week, Charles Ray Fuller, 21, decided that he needed some extra spending money. Unfortunately, Charles was short on cash, so, he hatched a plan:

Charles stole a blank check from his girlfriend's parents and filled in the date, the amount and the signature lines. Then, he went to Chase Bank in Fort Worth, Texas and tried to cash it.

It was at the bank that Charles showed his epic idiocy. The plan might have worked except for the fact the Charles forged the check in the amount of $360 billion dollars.

Pay to the order of Charles Ray Fuller
three hundred sixty billion and 00/100 dollars. $360,000,000,000

One astute bank employee noticed that something seemed fishy about a check for $360 billion. So, she talked with her supervisor who, in turn, called the police.

When confronted with his crime, Charles said that his girlfriend's mom given him the money so that he could purchase his own record label. The woman, of course, denied that she had ever given Charles a check. He now faces charges for carrying a weapon, fraud, unlawful possession of marijuana and more.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2836489.html?menu=&no_cj_c=1

watch where you are going, chuck

great video: distortion of beauty

I posted this video on my old blog and thought it was worthy of bringing it here... it isn't funny, but it is interesting. Show it to every teenage girl you know. (or boy for that matter)

before and after ads

one effective technique for advertising is to show "before and after" pictures... like these actual ads:

memo: don't do weather report on road

(he survived.)

now on exhibit: the Mona Lice-a

What do Mona Lisa, Starry Night, and head lice have in common? They all are considered works of art.

This week, seven artists from Berlin are appearing in a special exhibit at an Israeli art museum. Their art is alive. Literally.

The students have allowed their hair to be infested with lice and for the next three weeks they will be on display for anyone to see.

Think you didn't read that right? Let me summarize: a correct title for the art exhibit could be "Seven artists living with head lice."

And do you want to know what makes it even better? The artists wear plastic shower caps over their lice-infested hair.

The seven artists will eat, sleep, bathe and live in a room at the museum where they can be observed by others. Art enthusiasts from all over the world will be able to watch them walk around with plastic bonnets on their head and imagine what the lice underneath might look like.

The "art" has been interpreted as a reminder of Nazi propaganda. However, one of the "artists" said that interpretation was not the original intention.

The display is no fluke nor is it some sort of weird prank. Before establishing the display, the artists sent a proposal to the art museum administration. The exhibit was chosen over other proposals.

One of the seven artists said, "We are serious. The lice are part of the art."

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC85725820080428?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews

dear sirs, my foot fungus is now available for display.

MOBA (museum of bad art) visited

The Mona Lice-a post got me thinking about bad art. I looked around a bit and discovered MOBA, which stands for the Museum of Bad Art. It is an actual organization that collects obviously bad works of art and (with tongue-in-cheek) puts them on display.

And so, I now present to you this short slideshow of MOBA art. I encourage you to visit their site and join their contest for naming the last painting in this slideshow. (remember, you can control the show with your mouse)