lotion thief not so smooth

A person doesn't have to be a shoplifter to understand some obvious things about the art of shoplifting.

For example, it is obvious that a good shoplifter should try to conceal the things that he is hiding. Obvious bulges under your clothing is probably not a good idea.

Last week, Chamil Guardarrma, 30, of Framingham, MA tried his hand at shoplifting some items from the Bath & Body Works in the Eastfield Mall.

Chamil entered the store and started looking around. Soon, an employee at the store noticed that Chamil kept putting bottles of lotion into the fly of his pants. The employee alerted security.

Mall security guards responded and immediately noticed that Chamil's pants were extraordinarily lumpy and very full-looking. When they tried to stop Chamil, he tried to make a "run" for it. Unfortunately, his pants were so full of stolen stuff that he could only rapidly waddle. He was immediately arrested and charged with theft.

Chamil had stolen seventy-five 8oz bottles of lotion from the store. (That is 5 gallons of lotion in moderate sized bottles.) He had tied strings around both ankles to keep the bottles inside his pants. One security guard said that Chamil "had a hard time running and was extremely bowlegged." He was unable to bend over or sit down because his pants were so full of lotion bottles.

Ironically, police said that Chamil's legs were "extremely chafed" from trying to run with the bottles of lotion in his pants. He needed to use the items he stole-- but the lotion is to be used for evidence.

story: http://snipr.com/uat49 [www_masslive_com]
product he tried to steal: http://snipr.com/uat4u [www_bathandbodyworks_com]

unfortunate picture placement

Newspaper editors need to be careful about which pictures that they place near headlines.

someone angry at you? talk to their right ear

If you get someone angry at you and would like them to forgive you, be sure to direct your apology to their right ear.

Researchers at the University of Valencia recently examined 30 young men who were caused to become angry. Their study showed that a person's right ear becomes more susceptible to sound when we are angry. It can also hear sounds more clearly. However, there is no difference in the left ear.

The scientists believe that this phenomenon is the result of the fact that the left side of the brain processes what comes in the right ear.

Previous research reported in Science Daily also suggests that if you want to persuade someone to do something for you that it is best to address their right ear.

http://snipr.com/u9yvj [www_telegraph_co_uk]

I am guessing that flowers, money, sincerity, humility and/or groveling are still better tools for reducing another person's anger. Grovel right.

not quite grasping the "percentage sale" concept

world's most dangerous... or stupidest... comic

62-year-old sledder is not a rocket scientist

He is living proof that being older doesn't necessarily make a man wiser.

On Monday, a 62-year-old man from Independence Township, Michigan was hosting a sledding party. Apparently he wanted to be the star of the evening and impress his guests. So, he came up with a brilliant idea: he made a rocket-like device that would propel him down the hill.

The man took a car exhaust pipe and filled it with gasoline, match heads and gun powder. Then he strapped it to his back and asked a friend to light the fuse.

As you might expect, the device didn't quite do what the man intended. Instead of propelling him like a rocket down the hill, the device blew-up like a bomb.

Neighbors said that they heard a loud bang. Some of the neighbors said that the explosion even made their house shake. No one seemed terribly impressed with the man's invention, however.

The unnamed man did move quickly following the explosion-- in an ambulance straight to the hospital. He is (surprisingly) alive but has burns on nearly 20% of his body.

To add insult to stupidity, the not-a-rocket-scientist could face charges for possession of an explosive device.

(the picture here is his sled)
http://snipr.com/u9npb [www_mlive_com]
http://snipr.com/u9npf [www_myfoxdetroit_com]
via the Obscure Store and Reading Room

more misspelled tattoos

memo: if you are going to get your body decorated-for-life, you might want to have the tattooist look at a dictionary.







You have to know "you're" from "your" if you're gonna put your hands on me.

for more bad, misspelled, creepy, clever, beautiful, stupid and cool tattoos, click the "tattoo" label below or in the label cloud.

even more sexist ads you won't see today (part 5)

for the first 4 "sexist ads" posts, click the appropriate label below or in the label cloud

how engineers open blinds: the contraption 2

thanks to Dale
and to Ben Tyers at Baynham & Tyers for sending the link

stupid cake disasters (part 2)

Never assume that a cake decorator understands what you mean... because sometimes they take instructions too literally:





link to part one

the news after the headline

Subheading text in a newspaper is supposed to create more interest in the article... but sometimes, it just makes you wonder--

Computers make life easier.


New concepts in military strategy:


Deaf people never listen.


new prison reform idea: teach the criminals that they are wrong and let them go.

(the text says, "I know what I did was wrong, I don't need 10 years to figure that out, " thief complains)

hear's my resume. gimme a job.

Sometimes, a resume can keep person from getting the job of their dreams. For example, here are some lines that actually appeared on resumes submitted to employers (each entry is printed exactly as it appeared on the resume... and yes, I do realize I used the wrong hear/here in the title :) ):

1. Reason for leaving: They stopped paying me.
2. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
3. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
4. Finished eighth in my class of ten.
5. Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
6. (On the cover letter) Please ignore the attached resume because it is out of date.
7. My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend.
8. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
9. If this resume doesn’t blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.
10. My fortune cookie said, “Your next interview will result in a job.” And I like your company in particular.
11. Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years.
12. I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
13. Referees available upon request.
14. I'm a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
15. Cover letter: Desire the chance to showcase my delightful personality, intelligence and superior judgment, which are so hard to find these days.
16. Strengths: Impersonal skills.
17. Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store.
18. I have lurnt Word Perfect computor and spreasheet progroms.
19. Special skills: Thyping.
20. Personal achievements: Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes.
    
21. It's best for employers that I not work with people.
22. Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.
23. I am very detail-oreinted.
24. Personal: Five children. Dog: Jasper. Cat: Morris. Gerbil: Binky.
25. References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

via

more menu items you might not want to try

for more menu items you might not want to try, click the "menu" label below or in the label cloud