Monday, June 30, 2008

cutting the cost of a wedding with EBay and MacDonald's

Two unrelated news stories this week offer some great ideas for cutting the cost of a wedding.

Kelly Gray and Karl Gau are planning to get married in April, 2009. Unfortunately, they didn't have enough money to make it a big event. Together, they have a combined income of $32,000 per year.

So, they decided to keep their budget below $7,000. To help pay for the wedding, Kelly came up with a novel idea: she would auction-off a place in her bridal party on EBay. The winning bid would have their dress or tuxedo provided, shoes, and an invitation to the wedding and reception.

And the winner was-- the Dr. Pepper / Snapple Company placed a bid for $7,500. They then upped their bid to $10,000. They will also provide beverages for the wedding and will choose who will represent the company in the wedding party. Now, Kelly and Karl will be able to have a much bigger reception than they originally planned.

Said Kelly in an interview with MSNBC, "I put it up for a penny, and I thought, it wouldn't sell at a penny, I thought that was it. When I started seeing some bids, I couldn't believe it."

Dr. Pepper has yet to select the bridesmaid for the wedding. One suggestion that Kelly likes is Ellen DeGeneres.

In an unrelated story, in England, Terry and Alice Speller saved a lot of money for their reception by having their wedding meal at a local MacDonald s. Their meal cost around $14. (click on the story link for a picture of the happy couple at their favorite restaurant.)

Kelly and Karl's wedding--
Terry and Alice's wedding--

it's all in the angle

Friday, June 27, 2008

married for the first time, three times

He was married for 30 years and didn't know it.

Earlier this year, an unnamed man married his long-time girlfriend. They had been together off-and-on for nearly 20 years and felt it was time to settle down. The man, now 67, thought it would be nice if they moved to Sydney, Australia because that is where his wife had been born.

Unfortunately, their application to move was rejected-- because records showed that the man was married. He had married a woman from Arizona 30 years ago -- and didn't remember.

The man confessed that back in 1978, he was on vacation from his job as a cook on an oil rig. He was pretty much drunk for the whole 28-day vacation. He remembers that he met a "nice blonde woman" but had no recollection of marrying her. The two parted company after the 28 days, and had not seen each other since.

The man said that the "sky fell in" when he saw the marriage certificate complete with his signature.

This new revelation, of course, caused the man's most recent marriage to become annulled-- making his wife his girlfriend again. However, since authorities cannot locate the Arizona wife, the 1978 marriage has now been annulled, making his first wife not-a-wife.

Now, he is planning to marry his second wife- again.

Now we are waiting to hear from the first wife's lawyer, demanding delinquent support payments and alimony.

Bill Dance outtakes

his name is Bill Dance. These are outtakes from his TV fishing show...

visit Bill Dance's website:

stress exercise

Feeling stressed? Try this simple short exercise. It really does work.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.

3. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world". The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

5. The water is clear.

6. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under water.

7. there now... feeling better?

Thursday, June 26, 2008

next time, he will just pay the ticket

Vicki Fielden, 49, of Sheffield, England, was charged with speeding after a traffic camera clocked her going 36mph in a 30mph zone. She was fined £60 ($120).

Her husband, Iain, who is a physicist and researcher at Sheffield Hallam University, was not satisfied. He wanted to vindicate his wife and not have to pay the fine.

So, he set out on a mission to prove that the camera that took the picture gave a false reading. He hired experts. He took measurements, He wrote equations. He put dye on the road to show motion. He even made cast impressions of the curbstones.

After all that effort, his wife was found guilty as charged.

The Fieldens now have a bill for $10,000 expenses they incurred while developing their defense. They also owe $30,000 to cover the court costs. And, oh yes, the $120 speeding ticket.

Total bill: $40,120 for a $120 ticket.

Nice move, Iain. You proved that smart people can be really stupid.

turn back the hands of time with Photoshop anti-aging treatment

Have you noticed that you seem to be getting older-looking but some celebrities don't? Well, having a Photoshop job on your picture sure helps.

These are ads with real-life pictures inserted...

Is Dana Carvey's son doing appearances for him?

Donna Summer lost weight, age and a double chin... and got amazingly lustrous hair.

Make your ruddy complexion as smooth as a baby's bottom...


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

remember: cameras take pictures.

Here is a novel idea: when committing a robbery, take a moment to check-out how you look with the stolen goods -- in a camera lens that is taking your picture.

The young man in the picture approached a 16-year-old boy while riding on public transportation in Bromley, England. He asked to see the boy's bracelet-- which he grabbed. Then, he also grabbed the boy's necklace.

He paused for a moment and tried on the jewelry, looking at his reflection in a security camera lens. He admired himself for nearly 15 seconds. Then, rather than returning the jewelry, he threatened the teenager with a knife, and escaped with the jewelry which is valued at nearly $400.

He apparently wasn't smart enough to understand that the surveillance camera was filming him. Police have posted his picture and are asking for help in identifying him.

In an obvious understatement, Dan Arundell, of British Transport Police's robbery squad, said: "The CCTV images are very clear.

"It was quite clear that he was checking himself out in the reflection of the CCTV camera.

"The general consensus is that he is not the brightest spark..."

failed motor cycle ride

if you have trouble with this video, please drop me a note

Monday, June 23, 2008

a monument to something I'd rather forget

This week, the Russian city of Zheleanovodsk revealed a new monument. It does not honor a person or commemorate a historic event. Instead, it is a monument that celebrates something that most people would never dream of celebrating: an enema.

That's right. The 800-pound monument features a bronze enema syringe bulb carried by three cherubs.

Why would anyone want to commemorate the enema??

The monument stands in a region of the Caucasus Mountains that is famous for its spas that feature mineral enemas. Said one resident, "There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art. An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

This is good PR for Russian spas and comes at a good time. You may recall that back in February one spa was credited with giving enemas using hydrogen peroxide instead of mineral water.

looking for a lawyer?

Friday, June 20, 2008

auto overload

if you buy one, you can do this too

a vast improvement in eyewear

The caption reads-
"Allows you to focus easily without annoying glasses or contacts."

I gotta get me a pair. They look so much less annoying than those huge contacts I wear.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

ants level a block of apartments

Marcin Bartosz, 74, was tired of having ants in his apartment building. So, to solve the problem, he poured insecticide down a ventilation shaft. He apparently believed that the ventilation shaft would effectively spread the insecticide throughout the apartments.

But that wasn't the extent of his plan.

To assure the effectiveness of the insecticide, Marcin threw a burning towel down the ventilation shaft.

Not a wise move.

The insecticide was flammable and exploded in glorious splendor. The explosion burned an entire block of apartments in Lubin, Poland, and sent Marcin to the hospital with third degree burns.

Amazingly, no one else was injured. No word on the state of the ants.

whew. thanks for the reminder.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

basketball bloopers

in honor of the World Champion Boston Celtics

basketball advantage: third arm

from where comes the extra arm?

loving it while it lasts...

(please indulge me for a moment...)

I just want to note that, after years and years and years of suffering with bad or almost-winning teams, it is really fun being a New England sports fan these days. Congratulations to the Celtics.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

four foot surprise

Snakes simply do not come out of the toilet. Kay Robins, 26, knew that when she saw a long scaly thing in her toilet recently.

Believing that the snake was made of rubber and put there by her partner as a practical joke, she decided to flush it.

That is when the snake came up and out of the toilet, slithered over the edge and across the bathroom floor.

It wasn't rubber. It wasn't fake. It was a non-poisonous 4 ft. Californian king snake that had found its way through the plumbing. The snake was captured and taken away by the local SPCA.

(guaranteed that you will think of this sometime today....

unfortunate photo backgrounds

Monday, June 16, 2008

becoming one with nature

via google images, yahoo images and elite feet

wedding announcements: unfortunate name combinations

Goosie - Gander

Sawyer - Hiney

for more of these, click on the label below or on the sidebar "my pointless tags- engaged to wed"

Friday, June 13, 2008

even a thief needs coffee

If you are going to rob a coffee shop, it probably isn't a good idea to return a short time later for a hot brew.

This week, a Starbucks in Boulder, Colorado, was robbed by a man in his early 40s. The robber wore distinctive yellow gloves, carried a red backpack and wore wire-rimmed glasses during the robbery.

Shortly after the robbery, a detective was in the shop quizzing the Starbuck's employees about the robbery. The man they described looked.... um... remarkably like a guy who was standing in line, waiting to get some coffee (complete with yellow gloves, wire-rimmed glasses and red backpack).

The detective spotted the man, who immediately turned around and walked out of the shop... then broke into a run. Detective Kurt Foster chased him down and tackled him.

He is now under arrest for robbing the Starbucks, resisiting arrest and several other charges from unrelated robberies.

invisible boards

nice job. good effect. (they even got the shadowing right)

free samples.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

bungee jumping: our track record speaks for itself

sign me up.

genius tries to kick down a wall

she got her final wish.

(Hillary fan or not... you have to admit that it is an interesting obituary.)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

memo: don't sweat paying your bills

Just thought you would like to know that the world is supposed to end tomorrow.

Yisrayl Hawkins, cult-leader of the House of Yahweh cult in Texas, said that nuclear holocost will come sometime on June 12.

Hawkins has predicted this before, but apparently this time he really, really means it.

Fortunately, if you want to be spared, there is something you can do: immediately fly to Texas and live on Hawkin's compound. If you are a woman, you will need to marry him. If you are a man, worshiping him will do just fine.

Hawkins denies that he is the leader of a religious cult. According to him, "I don't control their mind in a witch-like fashion... I merely teach the laws to them."

Hawkins apparently already has a couple dozen wives. He is currently facing polygamy charges. Good thing he doesn't have to worry about the charges, since the world will be gone (except for his compound, of course).

update Friday, June 13, 2008 @ 10:59 AM
note: the world did not end yesterday. book flight home from Texas. pay the bills.

statisticians at work

and by the time they reach 30, there are no teen pregnancies at all.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

it was just like in the movies

It didn't go quite as he had imagined.

Mr Chen, of Xinyan Town in China wanted to surprise his girlfriend, Wen, with a memorable proposal. He had seen romantic movies where the engagement ring was hidden inside a cake. It seemed like a good idea.

So, the cake was baked. The evening was set. The surprise was ready.

At first, it went as planned. Wen started eating her cake. Then, Chen got down on one knee to ask her the big question.

It was at that moment Wen realized what was happening-- and that she had just swallowed her engagement ring with a mouthful of cake. She promptly fainted.

When Wen was revived, she told Chen what happened. She was immediately taken to the hospital where she had a catheter put down her throat to retrieve the ring from her stomach.

(But... she said yes.)

I am such a soft-touch for a romantic story.

it's just a dent.

These cars were damaged by the recent earthquakes in China-- but are still on the road.

...interesting pictures that speak volumes about a people who are resilient and persevering in the face of trouble.

Monday, June 9, 2008

2008 Olympic pinhead champion

Dr Wei Sheng wants to commemorate the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. What better way to do that than to stick 2008 decorative needles into your head, hands, chest and neck?

Sheng is celebrating the Olympics by piercing his head with needles that are in the five colors of the Olympic rings. (Which clearly outdoes another man who had the Olympic rings tattooed on his forehead.)

This is not the first time Sheng gained attention for being a pinhead. He set the world's record for this "event" four years ago by sticking himself with 1790 needles.

I am just guessing he doesn't sleep very well.

classifieds: for sale

if it's in excellent condition, I'll take it.

Friday, June 6, 2008

at least it wasn't cancer

This week, surgeons in Japan attempted to remove a softball-sized tumor from a man's abdomen.

The unnamed patient had been complaining about abdominal cramps and pain for quite some time. Pre-surgical tests showed a large growth near his stomach. Judging from the size and location, they assumed that it was cancer. It had to be removed.

During the surgery, the doctors located the tumor and found that it was a weird greenish-blue color. They were also surprised to find that it wasn't actually attached to any other tissue.

It was then that the doctors realized that their patient didn't have a tumor at all. It was a wadded-up surgical towel. The towel apparently had been left in his abdomen following an ulcer operation some 25 years earlier.

The 49-year old patient is not planning to sue the hospital. Rather, he is simply relieved that he doesn't have cancer.,23599,23810400-2,00.html

still more from the police blotter

tuba player takes care of business

Thursday, June 5, 2008

yearbook gives a new name to Max Supernova, Courtney Throwback

You have to love computer spell checkers. After all, they make writing and publishing so much easier. Click; click and your spelling is perfect.

Well, most of the time. Sometimes, spell checkers can screw up things in a big way.

For example, take the Middletown Area (Pennsylvania) High School yearbook. Recently, the school received their books from the printer, only to find that the spell checker had "fixed" certain names.

Max Zupanovic had his name changed to Max Supernova.
Kathy Carbaugh is now Kathy Airbag.
Alessandra Ippolito is listed as Alexandria Impolite.
Cameron Bendgen is now a Bandage.
Courtney and Kayla Hrobak are Throwbacks.
William and Elizabeth Givler are now Givers.

Taylor Publishing, the printers of the book, has apologized for the errors. However, company spokesman Ed Patrick maintains that errors like these are common. "It happens all the time, every year. Look at any yearbook in the country."

The company is offering free stickers to cover up the incorrect names.

barry, john and hillary

speaking of high school yearbooks... here are Barry Obama, John McCain and Hillary Rodham... or, as they might have been called in the Middletown yearbook (see post above): Barry Alabama, John Complain and Hillery Hambone