Thursday, November 29, 2007

the world's fastest clapper

don't bother applauding him... it means nothing to him.

airline humor

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

cat with two faces and three eyes

Lil'bit is a Siamese cat-- not in the breeding sense but in the medical sense. Lil'bit is a cat that was born with two faces and three eyes.

In an interview with London's Daily Mail, the owner (who lives in Arizona and wants to be anonymous) said this:

"The kittens were born underneath my computer table. When I picked Lil'Bit up I suddenly spotted that he had two faces. I was so shocked that I nearly dropped him. "I called a kitten rescue service and they told me not to expect him to survive. But I didn't see why he shouldn't be given the chance to live. Everything is possible.

'I got him a heating pad and started feeding him every 15 minutes from an eye-dropper. I fed him like that for two or three months before starting him on proper cat food.

The amazing thing to watch is that one of Lil'Bit's faces can be asleep while the other one is awake. I have also seen him sneeze out of one side and not the other and blink on one side of his face but not the other.

"And when he purrs it is like he is purring in stereo."

When Lil'bit was born, he actually had four eyes, but the two in the center seem to be merging into one. A close up of Lil'bit's face can be seen by clicking here. (The picture weirds me out and I decided not to post it. :) ).

No scans have been done of the cat's head but doctors think it has two brains because each face can sleep independently.

two brains, both surly and independent.

a marriage made in heaven.... errrr.... maybe not

same paper, same day, notice the headings for each section.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

a true bum rap

When a man gets a tattoo on his derrière, he doesn't expect many people to see it. He certainly doesn't expect to go to prison because of it.

Last week, Kevin Williams, 29, was beaten and stabbed at a shop near London. It seemed hopeless that the perpetrator would ever be found:
--The victim couldn't make an identification.
--There were no eyewitnesses.
--There were no fingerprints or DNA evidence at the scene.
--The perpetrators were wearing hooded sweatshirts.
--The closed circuit cameras did not get a shot of their faces.

But there is always a butt.

When the video was examined more closely, it showed that one of the hooded men was heavy-set and wearing low riding jeans. As he bent over to hit the victim, he showed a crescent moon. Visible on his buttocks was an unusual tattoo.

With photo enlargement and investigation, police identified the tattoo owner and arrested Aaron Williams (not related to the victim). He has been sentenced to 16 years in prison.

(photo: since no picture was available -- or wanted -- the above picture is of a place called "butt crack rock.")

one electric company lends a helpful hand.

Are you concerned about higher electric bills this winter?

Thankfully, our power companies are always looking out for us.

Monday, November 26, 2007

hair. its what's for supper.

She was scared. She was only 18 years old and had been suffering from chronic pain and swelling for five months. The pain was so severe that it caused her to vomit anything she ate. As a result, she lost nearly 40 pounds (18kg).

Doctors were perplexed. So, they ordered a scan on her abdomen. The scan confirmed her fears-- she had a large mass in her stomach.

To further investigate, doctors at a Chicago hospital lowered a scope into her stomach to get a closer look. What they found was a 10 pound (4.5kg), 15 inch long (38cm)... hairball.

Doctors said it looked like a big pile of poop.

The woman, who has long black curly hair, had the habit of biting on her hair and eating it. At the time it didn't seem to be a problem, just a bad habit. Unfortunately, the hairball was blocking her stomach.

The hairball has been removed. The unnamed woman has returned home.... and isn't eating her hair anymore.

I'll bet if they wash it up they could make a dandy wig.


This post was updated on December 05 with a picture of the hairball that was removed. The picture appeared in the New England Journal of Medicine.

from german TV: mirror prank.

not pointless. something about dogs you ought to know.

This post is a little out of character for this blog, but I think it is worthwhile. I received an email from a friend last week that told me something that I didn't know before: it is dangerous to give raisins or grapes to dogs. It can cause acute renal (kidney) failure.

It is true.
Here is the URL to verify it. (Snopes Hoax Site)

The picture is of my Scottish Terrier puppy... :)

Friday, November 23, 2007

live TV blooper

you don't need to know the language to understand that something went wrong.

since dad's pits have no sweat, we must assume...

cyclist doesn't notice missing leg

Have you ever found a bruise on your body and wondered where it came from? That is normal.

In August, a 54-year-old Japanese motorcyclist was riding with some friends near Tokyo when he accidentally hit the center barrier of the roadway. It was a hard jolt, but did not knock him off his bike. He rode on.

After the bump, he said he felt pain but didn't notice anything was wrong until he stopped at the next intersection a mile down the road. When he came to the stop and went to put his feet down, that he noticed his right leg was entirely missing. Gone.

He was immediately taken to the hospital. One of his buddies went back to the accident site to get the leg. Unfortunately, it was too badly crushed during the impact.

the good news is that now he can use those single shoes we sometimes see along the road.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

brilliance remembered: the man who disguised himself as a car seat

It is not an "urban legend" or a tall tale. It is a true piece of history that needs to be remembered and preserved because of one man's ingenuity, originality, and horrible idea. So, even though its expiration date has passed, I give you his story:

Enrique Aquilar Canchola, 42, wanted to come to the United States from Mexico. Unfortunately, he had no passport, no visa and no immigration papers. So, he devised a plan:

he would try to cross into the US at the San Ysidro, CA border crossing-- disguised as a car seat.

Undoubtedly, he thought it was a brilliant plan. It wasn't. He was spotted as soon as the customs officer opened the van. (I assume that his face and arms were covered before he was discovered... but that is still a pretty lumpy seat wearing white sneakers).

I wonder how he went to the bathroom. Never mind, I don't wanna know.

bad accident good ending


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

no no no to ho ho ho?

Last month, Santa trainees attending a seminar in Australia were told that they needed to refrain from using the traditional "ho ho ho" and replace it with "ha ha ha."

The reason? The Santas-in-training were told that a "ho" is a derogatory term for women and might be offensive to some people.

The trainer made his mandate clear "no to ho."

The idea of "no ho" didn't go over very well in Australia. Westaff, the leading supplier of Santas in Australia has said that their Santa's will be allowed to say whatever they want (ha, ho, or nothing at all).

However, Westaff is still encouraging its Santas to go light on the "ho ho hos" because it can scare some children who aren't used to hearing it.,22606,22737250-5006301,00.html

next: we will need to ask Rudolph to remove that red-light nose.

need a fine wine? the sommelier suggests...

mmmmmmmmmmmm, fetch me a bottle of that stuff.

Monday, November 19, 2007

my groom, my brother-in-law -- my bride, my pet.

Weddings in India were an adventure in odd news last week. Two weddings were particularly noteworthy:

In the Bihar Arwal district, a man showed up to his wedding drunk. In addition to being inebriated, he was behaving badly and, according to friends, wasn't in any condition to get married.

What to do? The bride's family had an interesting solution. They invited the groom's brother to take the job of being the groom/husband. He immediately accepted and was married to his brother's bride at what should have been his brother's wedding.

Madho Singh, a local police officer said, "The groom apologized for his behavior, but has been crying that word will spread and he will never get a bride again."

Hmmmm.... if he is afraid of never finding a bride, maybe he should discuss potential brides with P. Selvakumar.

In southern India, P. Selvakumar married a female named Selvi. Nothing odd about that, except that Selvi was a stray female dog (as in, a canine).

The 33-year old man believes that he has had bad luck ever since he killed two dogs 15 years ago. His astrologer told him that the only way he could be relieved of the curse was if he married a dog.

The wedding was a traditional Hindu ceremony. The bride was bathed by the groom's family and wore an orange sari. For the reception, she ate a bun.

I am feeling sorry for both brides.

a bad day at the office...

to me, some of these look set up, while others look like authentic office video cams... but either way, it is a fun watch (4 mins)


Saturday, November 17, 2007

classic newsman reaction

I don't normally post on weekends, but I want to bring some items over to this blog from the archive of my old blog... hope you enjoy. Have a good weekend.

setting a good example for your pets

Friday, November 16, 2007

toad of my dreams?

We have heard of people sniffing peanut butter, glue, hair spray, carbon dioxide, lighter fluid, household cleaners, gasoline and a few other things to get high... but never licking a toad.

This week, 21-year-old David Theiss was arrested by Kansas City police for possession of a toad with intent of licking its body in order to get high.

The Colorado toad releases venom that is powerful enough to kill a small animal... and apparently was used many years ago as a hallucinogen. Danny Snider, who is an expert in this sort of thing said, "It is not a real smart fad, but it is coming back as one." (a masterful understatement)

--One lingering question I have is... how did Mr. Theiss get caught???

it is easy to mistake a moth for a horse

Thursday, November 15, 2007

pump gas. pay clerk. walk home.

Want to feel perfectly normal?
Want to feel better about your occasional absent-mindedness?

In the city of Wuppertal in western Germany, a man pulled into a gas station for a fill up. After the car was full, the man paid for the gas -- and then, forgetting his car, walked home.

The car sat at the pump for about an hour before a worker at the gas station finally notified police. The police were able to locate the owner and notified him that his car was still at the station.

"He just forgot about it and walked off home," said a local police officer.

The owner promptly returned to the station and drove home (and no, he had not been drinking nor reports of Alzheimer's).

now if he could only remember what he did with his wife.

your test results are in

know anyone like this?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

the difference between D and G in a tattoo

Most Americans are unaware of it, but this year, the mighty Geelong Cats won the Australian Football Premiership (Championship).

A Cats fan known only as Neville was so thrilled that his team won, that he decided to celebrate the championship by having the team emblem tattooed on his arm.

He was quite specific as to what he wanted his tattoo to look like. In fact, he gave the tattoo artist written instructions.

Right arm: Day Premiers 2007 and the Geelon Cats emblem.

Left arm: Night Premiers 2006 and the names of two of his grandchildren.

Well, that was the plan, anyhow. Unfortunately, his tattooist was from Thailand and didn't quite get it right.

It seems that he accidentally replaced the "D" on "Day" with a "G." That means that Neville's new tattoo reads "Gay Premiers 2007."

In addition, the tattooist took the instructions quite literally. So, above the tattoo on each arm, Neville has the appropriate arm specification. The right arm says "Right Arm" and the left arm says, well, you get the picture.

Neville, um, isn't happy.

The tattoo is, however, very neat and color coordinated.

is that?... is that?... captain catfish???

this just struck me as weird.

it wasn't a Halloween ad... so what in the world is this??

why, it's Captain Catfish, Defender of well, er, the freezer section.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

memo: a shotgun is not a lug wrench

Anyone who has ever changed a tire knows that removing the lug nuts from a wheel can be exasperating. Sometimes, they just don't want to move.

Perhaps next time you want to remove a stubborn lug nut, you will want to consider an important life-lesson from a man in Washington state.

A 66-year-old Southworth man had been working for two weeks trying to repair his Lincoln Continental. He got all but one lug nut off a wheel, but just couldn't seem to get the last one. He tried and perspired. No deal.

But he was determined.

In a moment of frustration-inspired genius, the man took out his 12-gauge shot gun and decided to teach the lug nut a lesson it would never forget. From about an arm's length away, he blasted the lug nut with a full load of buckshot.

As any calm person might expect, the lug nut seemed unaffected by the shot but the metal wheel acted as a marvelous reflector for the buckshot. The buckshot from the gun ricocheted and "peppered" the man with gunshot from his legs to his chin.

Kitsap County Deputy Scott Wilson said that the man was not intoxicated at the time, and fortunately, no one else was there to get hurt.

The man took severe injuries to both legs and is recovering at Tacoma General Hospital. He is expected to make a full recovery. There is no word on the lug nut.

Hey Jimmy, after you fix that tire, you wanna come over here and help me get this dang splinter out?

wrongly righting a truck

How Not To Flip Over A Car

Monday, November 12, 2007

living the good life in a toilet

John, dumper, crapper, porcelain pool, head, throne, potty, hopper and home-sweet-home.

This week, Sim Jae-duck of South Korea will move into his new home which is shaped to look just like a toilet seat.

Mr. Jae-duck is known as Mr. Toilet in his own country (and now around the world) because he is a champion for the cause of cleaner toilets. For many years, he has tried to promote cleaner public toilets in his homeland. Now, he is taking his message to the world.

His $1.1 million home, called Haewoojae (meaning a "place to solve one's worries") opens this week to coincide with the first-ever meeting of the World Toilet Association. Mr. Jae-duck hopes that his home will gain worldwide attention and start people talking about those objects that are central to our lives: the toilet.

The house/toilet/home contains 4 bathrooms each with a toilet, urinal, sink, and jacuzzi. At the center of the house is a very special showcase bathroom that can be seen from all the floors. Concerned about privacy in such a bathroom? With the touch of a button, the glass becomes opaque and classical music starts to play (presumably to mask the sounds of nature that will soon emanate from the room.)

If you would like to stay in the house, you might be able to be a guest for $50,000, which will be donated to help developing nations build better toilets.

For three of the bathrooms, there is also a built-in bedroom.
Haewoojae will also be known as Crescent Moon Inn.

for those of us stuck with normal toilets

In keeping with the above theme-- when you are shopping for a new toilet, be sure you get one that is flame retardant.

(when would you need this? after eating burritos and having a smoke?)

Friday, November 9, 2007

thieves now in pain

If you were a thief who wanted to make some quick money, would you rob:
  • a. a karate academy full of students
  • b. a blind man waiting alone at a train station.

If you answered (a) you would be incorrect. If you answered (b) you would also be incorrect-- and both situations happened on the same day in September.

In Colombia, a man entered a martial arts studio brandishing a gun. His plan? --to rob all the students of their cash and make a quick get-away. The students apparently didn't take well to the threat and immediately performed their "arts" all over the would-be robber.

He is now recovering in the hospital.

Meanwhile, in Germany, a 17-year-old man saw an easy mark: a 33-year old blind man standing at a train station. He approached the man, threatened him and struck him in the face.

What he didn't know was that his victim was a world-class judo wrestler. The would-be victim, identified as Emil E., flipped his attacker and held him down on the ground until police arrived.

  1. story 1
  2. story 2

ax on wax off - pays off

German TV water bed prank

warning: we think you are an idiot

Have you ever seen a warning label and wondered why?
Above is a prescription is for a dog named Parker... who apparently operates heavy machinery.

Here are a few other examples of some actual warning labels:
Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
Turn off saw motor before using this product.

6x10 inch inflatable picture frame
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.

Box of bottle rockets
Do not put in mouth.

Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack
Remove plastic before eating.

Box for a car jack
For lifting purposes only.

Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.

Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.

Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.


okay, I won't do that.

I have no idea what it says, but it makes the point.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

you can't die here. it is against the law.

Over the years, we have all heard of stupid laws that are still on the books. Recently, a British television company asked 3,931 people what they thought was the most ridiculous law that is still on the books in England.

The respondents were given a short list to choose from. Here were the top vote-getters:

In first place with 27% of the vote is a law that makes it illegal to die in the House of Parliament.

In second place-- a law that makes it an act of treason to afix a postage stamp upside down. (Presumably this has to do with the fact that most British stamps bear the face of royalty.)

And in third place-- a law that makes it legal for a clerk who works at a tropical fish store in Liverpool to be publicly topless (and no one else).

"I'm sorry, m'Lady, the funeral will have to wait until he does his time. The law is the law."

hey watch me spin my pen and about kill myself!

this guy ought to spend less time spinning pens and study, oh, I don't know... how about electricity?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

hurry! if you have 88 rattlers, you too can be famous

Jackie Bibby of Dublin, Texas, (pictured right) is a famous man. Never heard of him? Maybe you don't run in the right circles.

Jackie is the World Record holder for all sorts of snake stuff... and he made the news again this week.

Before this week, Jackie held the record for sitting in a bathtub for 45 minutes a scant 81 rattlesnakes. This week, however, he smashed his own record by sitting in a see-through tub with 87 of them.

The rattlers were not de-fanged. They were not milked for their venom beforehand. They were also not restricted from slithering wherever they wanted on Jackie's body.

He simply sat in the tub with a pillow and his regular clothes and sat very still.

For those who are now considering replicating this feat, Jackie notes that the single most important thing is to not make any sudden movements.

His records do not end there. Jackie also holds the record for holding the most rattlesnakes in his mouth by the tail. This week he hopes to break his current record of 10 by squeezing in one more. His family must be proud.

questions: who the heck establishes the criteria for these records? (I mean, I could hold the world record for eating the most boiled eggs while sitting in a sink....) and why would anyone want to do this??

no sudden movements??? right. you put me in a tubful of snakes, and I'm afraid you would get a movement.

don't blench or reach

derections for whshing found on a garment made in China.

hmmm... according to step 6, I should only whsh with chlorine.

so, how come it tells me not to blench?

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

from German TV: buried pool prank

fun to watch but if it happened to me, I might be a little cheesed. you?


Think of it as community service-- the German TV production company paid to hide a shallow pool and then replace everyone's cell phones, bikes, etc... just so we, the public, can watch this stuff.

learn the English goodly

Can earn Bachelor in English Language

in single 6 months!


sure, sign me up.

Monday, November 5, 2007

dancing dentist nearly causes blindness.

Brandy Fanning was in pain. One of her molars was hurting. So, she went to see Dr. George Trusty of Syracuse, NY.

Dr. Trusty examined Ms. Fanning and they determined that root canal was not an option. They decided that the tooth needed to be broken apart and extracted.

It is a common procedure. So common, in fact, that Dr. Trusty decided to add a little choreography to his procedure. Trusty administered Novocain and then started drilling on the tooth -- while doing dance steps to "Car Wash" which was playing on the radio.

At some point during the extraction/dance-routine something went wrong. The drill bit that Dr. Trusty was using broke off and went up into the tooth socket. Trusty then tried to extract the drill bit using a hook but only pushed it up further into the socket. It pierced Ms. Fanning's sinus cavity.

Trying to alleviate Fanning's anxiety about the situation, Trusty said that the whole thing was "no big deal" and that she would probably eventually sneeze the drill bit out of her nose. That explanation didn't satisfy Fanning, who asked to have an appointment with an oral surgeon.

Good thing she did.

The surgeon instructed her to go immediately to the emergency room. After examining her, they said that the drill bit was so close to her eye that, had she sneezed, she could have gone blind.

Trusty offered to pay for Fanning's medical bills but apparently reneged on his offer. There is now a lawsuit pending.

adding more fuel to the case against disco

Japanese crowd prank


interesting to see the reactions... but what is with that first guy???

Friday, November 2, 2007

"fingered" by his own finger

We have heard of inept thieves who-
  • left behind a check with their own name on it
  • went to the robbery wearing their name on their hat
  • left behind the items they tried to steal.
This week, Stewart Broughton, 42, displayed a different sort of ineptitude. He did everything in his power to "finger himself" as the thief.

Literally, he left behind his finger.

Mr. Broughton broke into a building- supply yard in Fareham, Hampshire (England) in an attempt to steal a barrel of diesel fuel. When he tried to carry the barrel over a fence, his finger got caught and was completely severed at the knuckle.

He went to the hospital for treatment, but by that time, his finger had been found back at the yard. It didn't take the police very long to find a match for the finger.

Broughton pleaded guilty to two counts of theft and will be sentenced later this month.

and why shouldn't he plead guilty? he was caught red-handed.

grace, style and stumble on the runway

the newsmen laughing are as good as the fall :)

possibilities: new "demotivator" poster by

Thursday, November 1, 2007

tales of the really cheap

Do you know anyone who is cheap... tight... chintzy? AOL collected stories of cheapdom from readers. Here are some of the cheapest of the cheap:

One husband bought his wife candy and flowers for Valentine's Day. He allowed her to look at the flowers for an hour and eat one piece of candy... then he would bring them to his mother and sister for Valentines gifts.

One man noted that our calendars cycle so that every year is one of 14 patterns. So, he never marks his calendars. He saves them and uses post-it notes to mark the dates and then waits for a few years until that calendar pattern comes back around again.

One contributor had a neighbor who disconnected his doorbell light to "save on electricity."

Another man removes cherry stems before purchasing the cherries.... because without the stems, they weigh less at checkout.

To save the cost of dental bills, one man uses Super Glue to fix pinhole cavities, chips and cracks in his teeth. Consequently, it looks like he is constantly wearing an athletic mouth protector. It is "tobacco brown."

photo: yes, there is such a place as Tightwad, MO

when he rolls his eyes, he rolls his eyes.

Creepy Eyes - this pretty much weirds me out

why this picture?? I just like looking at it.

borrowed (aka stolen) from Gozino Blog... great work. check his site.