even a thief needs coffee

If you are going to rob a coffee shop, it probably isn't a good idea to return a short time later for a hot brew.

This week, a Starbucks in Boulder, Colorado, was robbed by a man in his early 40s. The robber wore distinctive yellow gloves, carried a red backpack and wore wire-rimmed glasses during the robbery.

Shortly after the robbery, a detective was in the shop quizzing the Starbuck's employees about the robbery. The man they described looked.... um... remarkably like a guy who was standing in line, waiting to get some coffee (complete with yellow gloves, wire-rimmed glasses and red backpack).

The detective spotted the man, who immediately turned around and walked out of the shop... then broke into a run. Detective Kurt Foster chased him down and tackled him.

He is now under arrest for robbing the Starbucks, resisiting arrest and several other charges from unrelated robberies.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2877142.html?menu=news.quirkies

but we didn't know he was dead

You probably recall the story... but yesterday, the final chapter was written.

Back in January, David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare wheeled the body of of Virgilio Cintron from his apartment in New York City to a Pay-O-Matic location.

Once at the Pay-O-Matic, the two men left the body outside (seated in an office chair) and attempted to cash Cintron's Social Security check. Unfortunately, the sight of a dead body in an office chair gained the attention of bystanders and police officers.

Accordingly, the two men were arrested on a number of charges: forgery, criminal possession of a forged instrument, attempted larceny and improper disposal of a body.

At the time, Police spokesman Paul Brown said, "The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side."

Okay. The guy was flopping from side to side. He sure looked dead and they sure weren't taking him to a hospital. It certainly appears that they knew their friend was dead and they were trying to get the money. Slam dunk. Open and shut case.

Ahhhh.... but not so.

Yesterday, charges against the two men were dropped. The men say that they didn't realize that their friend was dead (?!). Since prosecutors can't prove when Cintron actually died, they have decided not to move forward with the case.

the original story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22565251/?GT1=10755
the follow up: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24261131/

I'm trying to decide which is more stupid: two men who take their sick/dead friend to Pay-O-Matic or a legal system that can't build a case here.

good work: thieves subdue themselves

Here is a new and novel entry into the chronicles of inept thieves.

In Poland, a pair of bank robbers burst into a bank and told the cashier to open her cash drawer. Their plan was to disable her after the drawer was opened and grab the money for themselves.

After she opened the drawer, they sprayed her with pepper spray. Unfortunately, the air conditioning vent behind her produced a gust of air that blew the pepper spray directly back into the thieves faces.

The thieves immediately started choking, fell to the ground and burst into tears. They were able to recover enough to escape, apparently without the money.

"They only managed to escape because they had a pal outside in a getaway car," a police spokesperson said.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2768204.html?menu=news.quirkies

second memo: don't store weapons in the waistband of your pants

Last week, I posted a story about a man in Michigan who severely injured himself when he hid some shoplifted knives in his pants. (see "thief causes himself a world of hurt")

Unfortunately, some people can't seem to learn from the experience of others.

This week, 25-year-old Derrick Kosch entered the Village Pantry in Kokomo, Indiana and demanded a pack of cigarettes and some money. The attendant put the cash in a bag and turned to get the cigarettes. When she did, she heard the gun fire.

The clerk wasn't fully aware what happened, but video surveillance cameras tell the story: While waiting to get his smokes, Kosch tried to put his semi-automatic handgun in the waistband of his pants. When he did, the gun fired.

Kosch took a direct hit to his groin and his left leg.

Fortunately, Kosch survived his wounds. After he was released from the hospital, he was taken to the Howard County jail where he is currently being held on $100,000 cash bail.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22681900/

know what's worse? she gave him the wrong kind of cigarettes.

the perfect disguise: drywall compound

Last year, we had a man who robbed a bank disguised as a tree. This week, we got a new candidate for the weirdest disguise used to rob a bank.

Robert Coulson Lavery, 56, of Harrisburg, PA carefully considered what he might use to disguise his identity when he robbed the New Cumberland Federal Credit Union. He believed that he found the perfect disguise: he gave himself a thick coat of drywall compound.

What could be better? It effectively covered his features and made him look very very whitish grey. Besides that, it doesn't run like a nylon stocking.

Lavery entered the bank and stole $7,910. It was brilliant. Unfortunately, he didn't plan his get-away so well.

After robbing the bank, Lavery got into a car that was driven by Robert Steven Miller, 53. The get-away car had a Rusty Wallace NASCAR plate on the front.

The car was quickly identified as belonging to Mr. Miller. When police confronted him at his home, he promptly confessed to being the get-away driver.

Lavery was at Miller's house and was promptly arrested. He was found with an ample supply of drywall compound on his clothes, more compound on the passanger's seat, and more than half the money.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22644246/

hmmm... you'd think that a NASCAR fan would have given lots more thought to the get-away car.

"fingered" by his own finger

We have heard of inept thieves who-

• left behind a check with their own name on it
• went to the robbery wearing their name on their hat
• left behind the items they tried to steal.

This week, Stewart Broughton, 42, displayed a different sort of ineptitude. He did everything in his power to "finger himself" as the thief.

Literally, he left behind his finger.

Mr. Broughton broke into a building- supply yard in Fareham, Hampshire (England) in an attempt to steal a barrel of diesel fuel. When he tried to carry the barrel over a fence, his finger got caught and was completely severed at the knuckle.

He went to the hospital for treatment, but by that time, his finger had been found back at the yard. It didn't take the police very long to find a match for the finger.

Broughton pleaded guilty to two counts of theft and will be sentenced later this month.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=74029&in_page_id=2

and why shouldn't he plead guilty? he was caught red-handed.

pantless man uses leprechaun defense

Last Tuesday (October 16) Mr. Kim Leblanc broke into a car that was parked on the Central Parkway in Cincinnati, Ohio. Apparently he intended to steal the car, but promptly fell asleep after breaking in.

A short time later, the owner of the car was surprised to find a sleeping man in his car... and who also wasn't wearing any pants. So, he called the police.

When police arrested Mr. Lablanc, he admitted he had been using drugs and had no explanation for his missing pants. However, according to him, he should not be accused of breaking into the car, because he was let into the car by a leprechaun.

An interesting defense, but not unique. According to metro.co.uk, a similar incident happened in Northern Ireland when a man blamed a bad elf for making him rob a lingerie store.

Mr. Leblanc faces charges.

if they can nab that dang leprechaun, Mr. Leblanc will be off the hook... and maybe recover his pants

story

dear victim, here is how to find me...

Last week, a Australian man decided to paint his way into the annuls of incompetent-criminal history.

The man broke into some townhouses that were under construction, and stole four 20-litre (approx 5 gallons each) cans of paint. He loaded them into his vehicle and drove away.

When one of the townhouse owners came to the site, he noticed a clear trail of white paint-drips leading away from the townhouses.

He called the police and together they followed the trail (see photo) for more than 3 miles. The bandit now faces three counts of burlary, one count of theft, and will face a fine for defacing public property (the paint trail).

maybe his cell will get a fresh coat of paint

story: http://www.brimbankleader.com.au/article/2007/09/18/22345_bmv_news.html

painful theft

Liquor Thief- CAUGHT ON TAPE