Tuesday, March 31, 2009

more timely warning labels

dang. shoulda read it earlier.

but doc, my brain is where it hurts

for more warning labels, click the labels label below :)

pop-tarts on the police blotter

if you have not seen Brian Regan on Pop Tarts, see

Monday, March 30, 2009

smooth thief attempts robbery at police convention

Jarome Marquis Blanchett of Harrisburg, PA has been given the unofficial title of the "dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania" by a retired police officer.

When former officer John Comparetto left the stall of a hotel men's room, he was confronted by Blanchett. Blanchett held a gun to the Comparetto's face and demanded his money.

Comparetto complied and handed over his cell phone and money.

What Blanchett didn't realize was that he had just robbed a police officer who was carrying a gun on his ankle. He also apparently didn't realize that he had committed the robbery in the bathroom of a hotel where a convention of 300 police officers was being held.

Blanchett exited the bathroom and hailed a taxi for his escape. By the time he got into the cab, he was surrounded by Comparetto and his fellow police officers.

When Blanchett was being led out of court, he was asked by a reporter if he had any comments. Blanchett simply said, "I'm smooth."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7969934.stm (includes video)
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for sale: assorted appliances

Friday, March 27, 2009

stupid tourist questions

I used to teach that the only stupid questions are the ones that remain unasked. I have come to know better.

As proof, I offer these actual questions asked by tourists (reported by travel agents and cruise workers):
  • "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?"
  • "In what month is the May Day demonstration?"
  • "Is Wales closed during the winter?"
  • "Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?"
  • "What time of night does the Loch Ness monster surface and who feeds it?"
  • "Does this elevator go down, too?"
  • "Can I wear high heels in Australia?"
  • "Which direction is north in Australia?"
  • "Was this man-made?" (asked by a tourist observing the Grand Canyon)
  • "Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?"
  • "How far above sea level are we?" (asked by a passenger while on a cruise)
  • "Is the island surrounded by water?"
  • "What happens to the ice sculptures after they melt?"
  • "How many fjords to the dollar?"
  • "What time's the 2 o'clock tour?"
  • "Will I get wet if I go snorkeling?"
  • "Is that the same moon we see at home?"

extreme sheep LED art

cool shepherding :)

high-five to the face

Thursday, March 26, 2009

living the good life (redneck style)

redneck bass boat

redneck hunter

redneck jacuzzi

redneck grill

redneck horseshoes


Wheel of Fortune genius

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

oblivious: do you know where your chopsticks went?

Last week, kung-fu master Wing Ma, 40, noticed that he was getting pains in his stomach that did not subside.

Wing Ma has learned the art of dealing with physical pain. So for him, a trip to the hospital shows that he was in quite a lot of pain.

Doctors did the necessary tests and found the cause of his pain: a 7-inch chopstick that he had swallowed 20 years ago.

It seems that when Wing Ma was 20 years old, he was training his body to handle pain. What better way to do that then swallow a chopstick? So, that is what he did.

Said Wing: It never came out the other end. I forgot about it until the other day when I started to get pains in my stomach"

Doctors at a hospital in eastern China have extracted the chopstick.

good thing he didn't use a fork

For similar stories of people who don't seem to notice things like this, try these stories:
the man who didn't know he had driven a nail into his own head
the woman who didn't know that a bat was in her bra

oblivious: do you know where your leg is?

I posted this story back in 2007, but the post was lost. So, I present it again because it stands as another shining example of someone who is oblivious...

Back in August 2007, a 54-year-old worker in Hamamatsu, Japan was out riding his motorcycle with a group of friends. At one point in the drive, he failed to negotiate a curve and bumped into the road barrier.

The man said that he felt pain in his right leg at the time, but continued riding. It wasn't until he came to the next intersection and tried to put his feet down that he noticed -- his leg was missing. Gone.

One friend immediately returned to the scene of the accident and picked up the missing leg. Meanwhile the driver was taken to the hospital. Unfortunately, the leg was too badly crushed to be reattached.


got that?

Monday, March 23, 2009

"the beach was too sandy"... and other tourist complaints

After the winter holidays, Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents (ABTA) created a list of ridiculous complaints that were received by travel agents from their clients. These are some of the actual complaints received:

-- One woman claimed that she had been restricted to her room by the hotel staff. It was learned that she had mistaken the "Do Not Disturb" sign (hanging on the inside of the door) as a warning to stay in the room.

--"The beach was too sandy."

-- One guest complained that the soup served at an Australian hotel was too thick. It was learned that he had inadvertently been sipping on the gravy.

--"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

--"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

--"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

--"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

--"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

--"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

--"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

--"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

--"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

--"On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

--"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming |suits| and towels."


Stains: the cupcake loving dog

This dog appeared on the Animal Planet program "Its Me or the Dog." very weird.

Friday, March 20, 2009

protecting our children one race at a time

It is a surprise that anyone over the age of 30 is still alive. After all, we lived in an era of wanton recklessness and crazy, risky games.

For example, most of us at one time or another participated in either a sack race or a three-legged race.

This year, teachers at the John F Kennedy Primary School in Washington, Tyne and Wear (a metropolitan county in Northeast England) decided that they would drop the two races for fear of injury to the children.

Events in hopping, running and throwing (ping pong balls) will take place, but they thought that sack races and three-legged races were "far too risky."

One school official is quoted as saying, "We looked at a three-legged race and a sack race but what we want to do is minimize the risk to the children... We had to assess which of the activities were liable to cause a risk. We thought we would be better to do hopping and running instead because there was less chance of them falling over."

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memo: make sure the kids are all equipped with knee pads and helmets for the hopping games. And don't keep score as that might ruin their self-esteem.

painful pictures from the "running of the bulls"

be sure to notice the guy's leg in the last pic.

use this weekend! valuable coupon

the bad news is, we have to remove the injured leg
the good news is, we've got a free tote bag for it

Thursday, March 19, 2009

unlocked: the mystery of bellybutton lint

It was groundbreaking science.

In case you are out-of-touch with the news that truly matters, you ought to know that earlier this month, an Austrian scientist announced that he had discovered the secret of belly button lint. Yes. Finally.

Dr. Georg Steinhauser, an Austrian chemist, carefully studied 503 lint samples that he retrieved from his own belly button. In addition, he interviewed many members of his family and friends.

Based on his research, Steinhauser has discovered that a particular kind of hair surrounds the belly button. These hairs have a scale-like structure that pull fibers from clothing. The hair then draws the fibers down into the navel. Once in the navel, the fibers mix with dead skin, fat and sweat to form the linty balls that we eventually extract.

Since belly hair plays a large part in the formulation of the lint-ball, Steinhauser has concluded that men have more problems with navel lint than women.

So, in the end, what can one do about the problem of belly button lint? According to Steinhauser, keep your belly button shaved and washed.

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more words to help you win at Scrabble

Following-up on my post about useful Scrabble words-- this week The Wall Street Journal reported that three more odd words have been added to the official Scrabble word list.

They are:

Za- A shortened name word for pizza
qi- the body's vital life force
zzz- a word for sleep

first my pointless post

still more weird church signs

what are you teaching Him? can we be in the same class?

and get your pancakes after the service

maybe you ought to go to church to calm down

this new one is much better

via crummy church signs

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

want to donate a cake? follow the instructions carefully

I'm just guessing they had a problem with last year's entries...

AJ: parakeet that plays golf, basketball....

for more information on AJ

in these tough economic times: here's help for the homeless

we know you are homeless, so we cut our prices

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

more from the police blotter

for more police blotter, click label below

Obama in the marketplace

Can't get enough of our new President? Try these (real) President Obama items...

Obama for your mouth! Obama sushi http://bit.ly/4zbAb

Obama for your feet! Obama flipflops -- http://www.flopyourvote.com/obamaflop.html

Obama for your home or office! Obama Chia-head
(I thought this was a joke. It isn't) get yours http://bit.ly/kIDoo
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mypointless on twitter

I often encounter sites that I find useful... or strange... or fun... or enlightening. I have started posting some of these sites on Twitter. If you would like to follow mypointless on Twitter, click the link below, or see the sidebar widget.

fyi, strange/weird news stories that almost made the blog are sometimes shared in Google Reader. To get this feed, see the blue sidebar box and click on "read more."

Monday, March 16, 2009

Michigan bank robber: master of stealth

He was a master of cunning, making it nearly impossible for the police to catch him.

Well, almost.

Last week, a 24-year old man robbed a Chase Bank branch in Lathrup, Michigan. Before the robbery, he disguised his identity by drawing a beard and mustache on his face with a black Sharpie (see photo).

With money in hand, the man tried to make a get-away and elude would-be followers by driving down a highway going west in the eastbound lane.

The police gave chase, but the chase ended abruptly when the man accidentally made a quick turn-- into the parking lot of a local police station.

The man was arrested and charged with armed robbery and avoiding arrest. Police and local taxpayers are grateful for any thief who delivers himself to the station.

story missing? see cached copy

sports nightmares

the third photo that was posted here has been removed because I now believe it is "Photoshop" job.

Friday, March 13, 2009

CloFu- tofu that tastes like George Clooney smells

One good thing about tofu is that you can make it taste like just about anything. This week, a new tofu flavor has been proposed: tofu that tastes (and smells) like George Clooney's perspiration. You read that right.

The concept has actually been presented to George Clooney who is amused by the idea but does not plan to move ahead with the concept of CloFu.

The idea (which was inspired by the scent of one of George's towels) was presented by Ingrid Newkirk, president of PETA who suggested that the product might encourage people to stay away from eating animals by eating more tofu (?). She is quoted as saying, "What would make tofu more attractive to people?... I can see people having parties to try CloFu."

She likens the idea of sweaty-Cloony-flavoring to making artificial chicken flavor for gravy. In a statement, Clooney said that as a mammal, he is offended by the idea.

via Telegraph
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By the way... Recently PETA came up with another equally amusing idea: renaming "fish" to "sea kittens" so that people won't want to eat fish anymore. (no kidding- link here)

don't worry. drink up.

oh. now I won't worry.

yeah, that makes sense...

what were they thinking?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

the hardly perfect crime: buying drugs from a cop with fake money

The good news is that he will never regret it as the "nearly perfect crime" that almost worked.

Last month, a 21-year-old man in Erwin, TN, made arrangements to illegally purchase 76 Oxycontin pills for $4,875.

The first reason his plan didn't work is because he attempted to make his purchase from an undercover police officer.

The second reason his plan didn't work is because he tried to make his purchase using some counterfeit money that he had created.

The third reason his plan didn't work is because some of his counterfeit money was so poorly made that it was only printed on one side.

The young genius has been charged with criminal conspiracy, forgery and criminal simulation (simulation because technically it is not a crime to purchase drugs with fake money).

Authorities have rounded up the counterfeiting equipment and are looking to make more arrests in the case.

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Imagine it: The fact that police are expecting to make more arrests implies that there may be a whole ring of these guys.