Thursday, January 31, 2008

extreme Lego creations

If you have ever worked with Lego blocks, you know how tedious they can be. This guy is amazing.

very cool water monster in Japan... and minty foot deodorizers

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

how could the circumstances be "unforeseen"??

This is an actual screen clip from the Astrological Magazine's website. ...apparently, they didn't see it coming.


To see the full page announcement - link via Outhouse Rag

This reminded me of a television interview I saw one time. A psychic was being interviewed following a convention of psychics in Philadelphia. The reporter asked, "Will you be returning to Philadelphia next year?" The psychic's answer: "We don't know."

by the way... the answer is one.
How many psychics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Rhett and Link: a theme for a generation

In my house, we are American Idol watchers. However, even if you don't watch it, you will appreciate this video by Rhett and Link. These are the same guys who did the New Year's Resolution Song.


If you are having trouble with this video (reported by Amy), here is the direct YouTube url

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

dwarfs in duffels: no small crime

Long-distance bus travelers in Sweden have been reporting thefts. Diamonds, gems, cash and other assorted valuables are being stolen while the luggage is in the storage hold of the bus.

How is it happening?

Stockholm police believe that someone has been sneaking dwarfs into the bus luggage holds in duffel bags.Once the bus is underway, the dwarf unzips his bag and begins to rifle through the other luggage in the hold.

By the time the trip is over, the valuables are tucked away with the dwarf who re-zips himself into the duffel.

A spokesman for Swebus (a major bus carrier in Sweden) said: "We have had reports about several thefts by dwarfs on the stretch between Vasteras and Stockholm... We're thinking of installing video cameras."

politician brings his own lunch to work.


The man eating the ear wax is Kevin Rudd, the Prime Minister of Australia. This video is probably 8 years old... but it strangely (?) surfaced in the fall of 2007, just before the November national elections in Australia. Rudd won anyhow.

Monday, January 28, 2008

but there was a bridge here last night

In our area there was a rash of metal robberies. Thieves broke into into homes and cut the copper pipes out of the homes while the owners were away. Fortunately, the crimes stopped when the thieves were apprehended... stealing the pipes from a home that belonged to the chief of police.

But that is nothing. Small potatoes.

A real accomplishment of metal-theft happened in Khabarovsk, Russia earlier this month when an entire metal bridge went missing overnight.

The missing bridge was 38 feet long and weighed 200 tons. It was on the only road leading to a heating plant.

Officials assume that the bridge was stolen for scrap metal. No picture was available of the actual bridge because, well, it is still missing.

Interestingly, a similar thing happened in Macedonia where two bridges were stolen. Fortunately, the thieves were caught when they tried to sell a couple hundred tons scrap metal to a scrap yard.

unfortunate advertisement placements

Friday, January 25, 2008

children's letters to God

(remember: you can use the mouse-over controls to forward, pause, back-up) :)


Thanks to Tracy for sending me the pictures.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

man fails to smuggle 277 birds... on his bike

v. smug·gled, smug·gling, smug·gles
1. To import or export without paying lawful customs charges or duties.
2. To bring in or take out illicitly or by stealth.

Most of us are aware that the concept of smuggling is based on stealth. sneaking, or cheating in some way. Unfortunately, this concept escaped a young man who was foiled this week in a spectacularly inept smuggling attempt.

The incident happened on Tuesday at a border crossing between Ukraine and Belarus.

The unknown young man approached the border crossing at Dubki, apparently hoping that the guards would not ask him questions about the cargo that he was carrying on his bicycle.

And what was he trying to smuggle? 277 live parrots.

He had surreptitiously placed the birds into six cages; each cage contained between 40 and 50 birds.

"The cages were fixed to an ordinary bicycle. The parrots were stuffed inside like sardines..." said Alexander Tischenko, spokesman for the border police.

When confronted by guards, the young man left bike and birds behind and ran back into his homeland.

The birds were taken to veterinary inspectors who will offer them to pet shops. Two of the birds died in the smuggling attempt.

"If we hadn't stuffed in those extra 7 birds, I mighta made it."

Red Green: redneck automatic windows


This is Canadian comedy, but it still qualifies as redneck. :)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

needed: PhD to figure out the traffic pattern

The Magic Roundabout, Swindon, England (slideshow)

second memo: don't store weapons in the waistband of your pants

Last week, I posted a story about a man in Michigan who severely injured himself when he hid some shoplifted knives in his pants. (see "thief causes himself a world of hurt")

Unfortunately, some people can't seem to learn from the experience of others.

This week, 25-year-old Derrick Kosch entered the Village Pantry in Kokomo, Indiana and demanded a pack of cigarettes and some money. The attendant put the cash in a bag and turned to get the cigarettes. When she did, she heard the gun fire.

The clerk wasn't fully aware what happened, but video surveillance cameras tell the story: While waiting to get his smokes, Kosch tried to put his semi-automatic handgun in the waistband of his pants. When he did, the gun fired.

Kosch took a direct hit to his groin and his left leg.

Fortunately, Kosch survived his wounds. After he was released from the hospital, he was taken to the Howard County jail where he is currently being held on $100,000 cash bail.

know what's worse? she gave him the wrong kind of cigarettes.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

seperated-at-birth twins get married

What would you do if you got married and found out that your wife was actually your twin?

That is the case of an unnamed couple in Britain.

The dizygotic twins were born normally and separated at birth. They were adopted by separate families and never told by their new families that they had a twin.

Later in life, they met and felt a compelling attraction to one another. They fell in love and got married. It was only after they were married that they learned that they were twins.

Accordingly, a British court annulled their marriage after the situation became known.

The names of the couple (who are now around 30 years old) and the details of how they learned they were twins is being kept private.

The story was brought forward in Britain as part a debate in the House of Lords over issues of fertility and the rights of people to know their biological parents.

...and some rednecks say, "So, what was the problem??"
the picture of the twins (above) is not them. :)

miracle 15-lateral play from a different vantage point

On October 31, I posted the video of the incredible 15-lateral football play in which Trinity beat Millsaps in the closing seconds of their game. This video is from a different and much better vantage point. Fun to watch.

for the story:

Monday, January 21, 2008

inseparable friends... creepy or cute?

Oscar the dog and Arthur the cat were inseparable friends. They played together, lived together and even shared the same basket to sleep in.

That is, until the day Arthur died.

Oscar watched as his best friend was laid to rest in the garden near their home. Oscar missed Arthur dearly.

So, on the night after the burial, Oscar slipped out of the house and dug up his beloved feline companion. He dragged Arthur's carcass into the house, placed him in the basket that they used to share, and cleaned him up.

In the morning, the owners, Robert and Mavis Bell, found them curled up together in the basket.

Arthur has been buried again in a more secure grave. The Bells got another kitten named Limpet, and Oscar is already growing attached.

Now, the question is: do you find that story creepy or cute? (does it make you go "ohh" or "eww?")

hurry, you only have 10 millennia left

Better activate this program today. By my calculations you have only a little over 10,040 years (figuring leap years) remaining... which is undoubtedly the reason that it is the "recommended" option.

from PC Magazine

Friday, January 18, 2008

towns I don't want to see on my address labels

When I met my wife, she was living near Blue Ball and Bird-in-Hand, PA. Back in the 80s, we lived in a community known as Durkeetown, which was just down the road from Belcher, NY.

Okay. Bad names for towns. But there are worse.

Consider these real names of real towns (and be glad you don't live there):
Goobertown (AR), Gassville (AR), Grubbs (AR), Roachtown (IL), Beans Corner Bingo (ME), Pergatory (CO), Gnaw Bone (IN), Hell (MI), Hellhole (CA), Toad Suck (AR), Bummerville (CA), Chicken Gizzard (KY), Hooker (AR), Prunedale (CA), Eek (AK), Nothing (AZ), Ho-Ho Kus (NJ), Square Butt (MT), Tightwad (MO), Elephant Butte (NM), Bumpass (VA), Leaky (TX), Ding Dong (TX), Goosepimple Junction (VA), Deadhorse (AK), Crummies (KY), Typo (KY), Cut-Off (LA), Cut -n- Shoot (TX), Greasy Corner (AR), Bucksnort (TN), Tick Bite (NC), Lizard Lick (NC), Idiotville (OR), Satan's Kingdom (VT), and the infamous Bugtussle (KY)

Bugtussle was the home of Jed Clampett before he struck "Texas Tea" and moved to Beverly (... Hills that is... swimming pools, movie stars). The real Bugtussle is in KY (and OK), but the one Jed was from was supposed to have been in TN.

the infamous fainting goats


an advertisement with a confusing message....

It's OK, Sally, after we are finished, you can still hold Bambi...

Thursday, January 17, 2008

have lunch at Thornham Walks. or not.

Thornham Walks is a 12-mile network of beautiful walking paths in Suffolk, England.

This pamphlet was produced to encourage people to come and enjoy the beauty of Thornham.

Unfortunately, shortly after it was published, the pamphlet was withdrawn. Why? If you look closely, one of the girls is enthusiastically picking her nose.

Andrew Stringer, a councilor in Suffolk said, "it does not represent our youth in the best light." (True. It presents a child in the real light... but not the best light.)

Personally, I find the image of that lamb giving birth to the little girl's head a lot more troubling.

super slow motion of a slap ( a study in waves)


taken from the Hurty Elbow blog

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

the perfect disguise: drywall compound

Last year, we had a man who robbed a bank disguised as a tree. This week, we got a new candidate for the weirdest disguise used to rob a bank.

Robert Coulson Lavery, 56, of Harrisburg, PA carefully considered what he might use to disguise his identity when he robbed the New Cumberland Federal Credit Union. He believed that he found the perfect disguise: he gave himself a thick coat of drywall compound.

What could be better? It effectively covered his features and made him look very very whitish grey. Besides that, it doesn't run like a nylon stocking.

Lavery entered the bank and stole $7,910. It was brilliant. Unfortunately, he didn't plan his get-away so well.

After robbing the bank, Lavery got into a car that was driven by Robert Steven Miller, 53. The get-away car had a Rusty Wallace NASCAR plate on the front.

The car was quickly identified as belonging to Mr. Miller. When police confronted him at his home, he promptly confessed to being the get-away driver.

Lavery was at Miller's house and was promptly arrested. He was found with an ample supply of drywall compound on his clothes, more compound on the passanger's seat, and more than half the money.

hmmm... you'd think that a NASCAR fan would have given lots more thought to the get-away car.

it tastes like chicken

On today's menu:
Meow Goo Gai Pan
Spicy Crispy Kitty
General Tso's Fee Lien

Daily Onion: NASCAR strategy-- go fast.


NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast'

In honor of Mr. Miller's get-away car (above), I post this fascinating look into the world of NASCAR strategy (go fast! turn left!). (Reposted from my earlier blog.)

Monday, January 14, 2008

missing 13-year-old boy is found ... to be a 33-year-old woman

Earlier this month, a massive search was underway in Europe for a 13-year-old schoolboy named Adam. Adam had been enrolled at the Marienlyst school in Oslo since September and was suddenly missing.

Fortunately, the authorities found Adam in a city in northern Norway -- but also found that he wasn't really Adam. It seems "Adam" was actually a 33-year-old woman named Barbara Skrlova.

How did that happen?? Earlier last year, Barbara had been part of an adoption scam in Brno, Czechoslovakia where she had posed as a 13-year-old girl. As part of that scam, Barbara was adopted by a woman named Klara Mauerova.

However, Mauerova was accused of abusing her own biological sons. So, as part of the case against Mauerova, Barbara was expected to be a key witness against her "adopted" mother.

Realizing that her identity as a 30ish woman would be discovered, Barbara left Czechoslovakia. With the help of friends (the parents of a real boy named Adam), she escaped to Denmark and finally ended up in Norway where she enrolled in school as Adam. She shaved her head and bound her breasts so that she could more easily pass as a boy.

Barbara (aka Adam) has been deported from Norway to Czechoslovakia. Authorities are trying to figure out what to do with her now.

Is it my imagaination or does she look like a young version of Fester on the Addam's Family?

she is going to have trouble getting that ring off

okay. It is absolutely disgusting, but you gotta admit that it is fascinating.

The picture identifies this as a wedding ring. If that is the case, was she wearing it on the wrong hand because it didn't fit on the other??

Friday, January 11, 2008

Help! oh please help.

inmate sues jail for being too easy to escape

Scott Gomez, Jr. has filed a lawsuit against the State of Colorado for injuries he suffered while attempting to escape from jail. Scott is currently a resident at the correctional facility in Pueblo, Colorado.

Scott has tried to escape from jail on two occasions: the first time was in November 2006 and again in January of last year. Both times Scott was recaptured and returned to prison.

However, on Scott's most recent attempt, he suffered an injury when he fell 40-feet while trying to scale down the side of the prison.

But Scott's injuries are not his fault. Scott contends that the State of Colorado is at fault because they made it too easy to escape from prison.

Scott explained: "I told ‘em after the first time that they should’ve (sic) fixed that E-Z-Escape set-up, and they didn’t, so my injuries are their fault. And when I told the guards that, they beat me up."

(Interestingly, the lawsuit is not about being beaten up, but on the condition of the prison that lured him into an escape attempt.)

hmmmmm.... But Scott, doesn't the height of the wall and the fact that you fell prove that the prison isn't too easy to escape?

amazing accidents one after another

(this video has been edited so that the accidents happen in rapid succession)

World Most Amazing Accidents - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

Thursday, January 10, 2008

the man who turned himself blue

Paul Karason is blue. And we aren't talking figuratively. Paul used a silver compound to cure his dermatitis... and it turned his skin permanently the color of a Concord grape.

thief causes himself a world of hurt

memo to self:
If you ever choose to steal some knives, do not hide them in your pants while trying to escape.

On Tuesday, a man walked into a Meijer Inc. superstore in Grand Rapids, Michigan and attempted to steal $300 worth of hunting knives.

The genius did what any shop-lifter would do: he put the lifted goods down his pants and headed for the door.

Unfortunately, he had not anticipated being confronted by employees. When the man tried to elude the employees, he tripped and stabbed himself in the belly.

The man's injuries are not life threatening. However, it appears that he was stabbed more than once and at least one knife was seen with blood on the full blade.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

learn computer programing with just one phone call

We have probably all heard the stories about people who are profoundly computer-ignorant:
  • the woman who wondered why her computer didn't work during a power outage.
  • the guy who didn't know that his computer had an on/off switch (one of my adult students)
  • the woman who tried to scan a document by waving it over her monitor...
but here is another true account that comes to us first-hand from a programmer (quoted):

Being a programmer and the only computer literate person in my family, I get tech support calls from my family all the time. I got a phone call from a brother-in-law today:

Him: Hey, you're good with computers right?

Me: Yes.

Him: And you know how to program computers?

Me: Yes, thats my job actually.

Him: Could you explain programming please?

Me: I'm sorry, what do you mean?

Him: I want to make a game like Halo, but I don't know how to start. Could you explain what I need to do?

Me: You should probably go to the library and get a book.

Him: Can you just tell me what I need to do?

Me: Wait a minute. Are you asking me to explain how to program computers?

Him: Yeah.

Me: Over the phone?

Him: Yeah.

My brother in law apparently made several unsuccessful attempt to "learn programming" by opening up exes in Notepad. He created a text file with the words "Morph the screen into something cool" and couldn't figure out how to run it, even had the nerve to ask me "how do I install my program? Do I just put a shortcut on the desktop".

Quoted from the Worse Than Failure website

I think that the last paragraph is especially wonderful.

even if you hate hockey, this 9 year old is amazing

in full stride, he turns, picks up the puck with his stick and throws it into the goal...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

woman swipes dying sister's ring

Mary Ulwelling was just 58 years old and terminally ill. Because of her poor health, she was spending her final days at the Comfort Care Nursing Home in Austin, MN.

On New Year's Day, Mary's loving sister, Geraldine Magda, 44, sat by her side and held her left hand. It was a tender moment between two sisters.

A short time after their visit, Mary died.

It was then that relatives noticed that Mary's wedding ring -- a gold ring with diamonds valued at $2,500 -- was missing from her hand. Suspicion immediately fell upon the only one who had been holding that hand.

Geraldine, of course, denied that she knew anything about the missing ring. However, when her purse was searched by the police, the ring was found inside a prescription bottle. Geraldine swears she doesn't know how the ring got there.

Police apparently don't buy the "pill supernaturally becomes diamond ring" explanation and have arrested Geraldine for theft and possession of stolen property.

Maybe she should employ the leprechaun defense.

whadda slide


Monday, January 7, 2008

memo: banks don't accept $1,000,000 bills

Alexander D. Smith is not the brightest bulb on the tree. In fact, at 31-years-old, Alexander has recently distinguished himself as one of the most spectacularly inept counterfeiters of all time.

In late November, Alexander walked into a bank in Clearwater, Georgia, and attempted to open a new account.

The bank representatives, of course, were happy to talk with Mr.Smith when he said he wanted to open the account. Everything seemed pretty normal until Mr. Smith produced his opening deposit: a spanking-new $1 million dollar bill.

This struck the bank officials as just a little odd, since the largest bill produced by the US is the $100. The banker, of course, was not fooled for second and immediately notified police.

Interestingly, Mr. Smith was incensed when his $1 million bill was questioned (wouldn't you be?). When the police arrived, they found him yelling at the bank employees.

Smith has been charged with two counts of forgery and one count of disorderly conduct. (He was charged with two counts of forgery because before he arrived at the bank, Smith stopped at a store and bought some cigarettes with fake money. No report on what size bill he used to purchase the cigarettes.)

You may remember that back in October, I posted a story about a person who tried to pass a $1 million bill at a department store near Pittsburgh. I wonder if their bills were made in the same place....

another beautiful morning: I feel it

Friday, January 4, 2008

dinosaur defense

No one likes accepting blame. For example, you may recall that I posted a story about the pantless man who was arrested for breaking into a car and claimed that a leprechaun led him do it.

This week, a man from Wentachee, Washington came up with a completely original excuse. The unnamed man was driving in the wrong lane and crashed his car into a pole. When asked what caused the accident, he gave a very simple answer: "pterodactyl."

That's right. He claims that his car was swooped by a prehistoric winged dinosaur that has been extinct for millions of years... or not (?).

But let's not leap to judgment. After all, a person should be assumed innocent until proven guilty.

it works! female deer urine gets attention.

This was on TV a few years ago, the guy that was attacked had sprayed female deer urine on himself in hopes of attracting a deer.... and, he did!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

deck the halls with... er... doggy doo?

I know what you are thinking... but you can have this for next Christmas if you order now. Supplies are not limited. Doggies keep cranking it out.

who wants to be a millionaire? not this guy

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

15 Things We Didn't Know Last Year

The BBC News Magazine Monitor keeps a weekly list of “things we didn’t know.” These are items that the BBC editors did not know until the daily news taught it to them.

This week, the magazine posted the top “100 Things We Didn’t Know Last Year.” I wasn’t terribly impressed with the whole list (and didn’t want to post the whole thing here). So, I reduced it to these 15:

1. Saddam Hussein's codename while in US custody in 2004/5 was "Victor".
2. Adding milk to tea negates the health-giving effects of a hot brew.
3. The word "jaywalking" came from the US slang "jay", a term popular in the early 20th Century meaning a rustic newcomer unfamiliar with city ways.
4. There are at least two children given the name "Superman" in the UK since 1984.

5. Cloudy apple juice is healthier than clear, containing almost double the antioxidants which protect against heart disease and cancer.
6. Dishcloths are purged of 99% of their bacteria during two minutes in a microwave.
7. Antony and Cleopatra were ugly.
8. Chimpanzees make their own spears for hunting.
9. Chickens can be diagnosed with depression.
10. There is mobile phone reception from the summit of Mount Everest.
11. Books used to be bound in human skin.
12. Sleeping on the job is tolerated in Japanese work culture, as long as you remain upright and obey certain other rules. It's called inemuri.
13. Until the late 1990s, the RAF's nuclear bombs could be activated using a bicycle lock key.
14. King Tut had buck teeth.
15. Deep-voiced men have more children.

If you would like documentation for these facts or if you are interested in the other 85 items in the article, you might want to follow this link:

So, I want to know who diagnoses chickens.

what would failure have looked like?

Well, that's a relief!
I was thinking that we were in trouble.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

excellent. the New Year's resolution song


Dave Berry's advice on New Year's Resolutions

Thinking about your New Year's resolutions? Here are some helpful words from author Dave Berry:

Many people give up because they “set their sights too high.” In making a New Year’s resolution, pick a goal that you can reasonably expect to attain, as we see in these examples:

Unrealistic Goal: “In the next month, I will lose 25 pounds.”
Realistic Goal
: “Over the next year, taking it an ounce or two at a time, I will gain 25 pounds, and my face will bloat like a military life raft.

Unrealistic Goal:
“I will learn to speak Chinese.”

Realistic Goal:
“I will order some Chinese food.”

Unrealistic Goal:
“I will read a good book.”

Realistic Goal:
“I will examine the outsides of some good books, then waddle over to the part of the bookstore where they sell pastries.”

Unrealistic Goal:
“I will do volunteer work for a worthy cause.

Realistic Goal:
“I will give myself a hearty scratching.”

Thanks for the help, Dave.