Dave Berry's advice on New Year's Resolutions

Thinking about your New Year's resolutions? Here are some helpful words from author Dave Berry:

Many people give up because they “set their sights too high.” In making a New Year’s resolution, pick a goal that you can reasonably expect to attain, as we see in these examples:

Unrealistic Goal: “In the next month, I will lose 25 pounds.”
Realistic Goal: “Over the next year, taking it an ounce or two at a time, I will gain 25 pounds, and my face will bloat like a military life raft.”

Unrealistic Goal: “I will learn to speak Chinese.”
Realistic Goal: “I will order some Chinese food.”

Unrealistic Goal: “I will read a good book.”
Realistic Goal: “I will examine the outsides of some good books, then waddle over to the part of the bookstore where they sell pastries.”

Unrealistic Goal: “I will do volunteer work for a worthy cause.”
Realistic Goal: “I will give myself a hearty scratching.”

Thanks for the help, Dave.

http://www.newyearsresolutionsblog.com/category/funny-new-years-resolutions/#cooliris